Thursday, August 11, 2011

Chapter 25. I Think... About The Burning Letters

It was like a dream. I walked trough his living room to the door that led to his back yard. I tried to ignore my surroundings. Goodness, this man had some weird candle and rose fetish. Once again I was in a room filled with this little things that people normally call romantic. But unlike other people do, I wished they would somehow disappear. I really wanted things to be normal. His grand gesture was driving me crazy. I tried to sound as casual as possible when I said:

"Wow, Sidney. This is really beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled.

Was he trying to burn his house down, cause it sure looked like it.

"So what's going on? You said there was something waiting for me outside."

He just nodded and ushered me outside. GULP! Not only did the endless theme of candles continue, but there was a huge hot air balloon standing there. This was a dream! It had to be, because nothing this ridiculous could really exist.

"Wh-what the f..." I cried out but he stopped me before I could finish.

"This is why I've been acting all weird today. They almost screwed things up, by mixing up the dates or something. And they also brought the candles too early. Atleast they didn't take them out of the boxes, so they didn't ruin the surprise completely."

He came behind me and put his arms around me.

"Netta, Don't freak out." His voice was deep and full of authority.

"I'm trying not to." Mine on the other hand sounded like a tiny mouse's whisper. He squeezed my shoulders.

"Come on." He said and I found myself following him to the hot air balloon. An old man was waiting for us.

"Netta, this is Carl. His going to fly us with this thing." Sidney introduced him.

"Nice to meet you, miss. Please, hop in so we can start the flight."

The old man looked more like a nursing home resident than someone who was qualified to fly something. But if "Mr Grosby" trusted him so maybe the "miss" should too.

With a deep sigh I stepped in and was followed by Sidney. Slowly the balloon started to rise.

We were above his house. Maybe this wasn't so bad. I had to admit that the view was spectacle and Carl was with us so Sidney had to behave. Not that weird I-love-you-thing. Sidney pointed me some of the houses below and told me about them. We were heading away from the city and there were only few houses below us. Just a road with tiny cars. Then I spotted something. There was a field right next to the road. And then I saw big letters on the ground, apparently they were on fire, because of the glow. At first I couldn't quite make out what was written on the ground, but when the hot air balloon moved a bit, I was able to read it.

"Ow, look Sidney! Someone's going to propose."

"Yeah." He said.

I stared at the burning letters: MARRY ME? This night was really like a dream. I pictured in my mind how some guy would kneel before a girl tonight. And I smiled thinking about her reaction. How sweet to propose like that. Burning letters. That was romantic. Then it crossed my mind that it was impossible to read the letters from the ground. He should somehow get the girl higher so she could read it. Maybe... Before I could continue this thought, a weird shiver went trough my body. The boy should get the girl higher... I shook my head before I let myself to think any further. It was too dangerous to think any further. I was too scared to look at Sidney now. Way too dangerous! He might realize what I was thinking... NO! What I was almost thinking. And then he would think I was crazy thinking about something like that.

"I think I'm insane." I said in my mind.

We fly further from the letters and I was relieved. But after a while I saw new burning letters.


And new letters.


And new letters.


"Maybe we should land now." Carl said and Sidney nodded.

"Here? On the field?" I asked nervously. We hit the ground and Sidney helped me out of the balloon.

We silently walked away. When we reached the last burning letters, he turned to me. But before he said anything, he took something form his pocket. It was a box. I stared at numbly. Everything was so surreal.

"Netta, I've never felt anything like this before. I am so in love with you. I want to be with you forever."

"Sidney..." He gently covered my mouth with his hand.

"You have to let me speak before you say anything. OK?" He looked at me demanding me to listen. I nodded and he continued.

"I want to make you happy. I want to love you. And I know I can give you everything you'll ever need. I will build my world around you. So I want to ask you a question." He kneed before me and took my hand. Tears filled my eyes and rush of happiness filled my heart.

"Will you marry me?"

I was going to say yes. He loved me. And... I loved him. So much. But for some reason I couldn't say that small word.

"Sidney. I love you too..." I started. He looked at me and as if could've read something from my eyes, his own eyes narrowed a bit.

"You love me. But."

"I love you but I can't say yes. Not now. Not yet." Suddenly everything was clear.

He looked so disappointed that it was hard for me to look at him.

"Sidney, we've only known for couple of months. And most of our relationship we've been on the phone."

"Netta, I know you. I know you enough to know that you are the one for me." He wasn't on his knee anymore but he was really close, holding me against him.

"I know you know me. I think you know me better than I know myself. But that's the point. I'm like a broken china which pieces has just been glued back together."

"What do you mean?" His voice was really demanding.

"I'm just learning to love again... learning to let somebody be close to me. I can't say yes now, Sidney. Please, try to understand. I really would like to say yes, but I cant."

He took couple steps back and looked at me.

"Could you wait for me?" I asked staring at him with a new courage. "I will say yes to you, but not now."

He nodded and a smile came back to his lips.

"I will wait for you."

I hugged him.

"Um... Can I see the ring, please?"

He burst into laughter.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Chapter 24. I Think... Huh?

Sidney told me that he had plans for us for the night. So I was in my fancy cocktail dress sitting next to him in his car. He wasn't moody anymore. Weirdly enough he was really happy and bubbly. He couldn't stop smiling and making really bad jokes, which I still loved. His jokes are so bad that they are funny. I think some of his worst ones are epic. I loved when he told about his teammates and pranks they did to keep things exciting. I told him about my own "team" and how we always did some silly things. Especially Filippa, who apparently thinks that it is funny to see me in very awkward situation.

"When we were in Singapore, she stole all my clothes while I was in shower. Of course she had no idea when I asked about them. She said that maybe someone had broken in and stolen them." I laughed.

"How long did it take to get them back?" He asked.

"My clothes miraculously came back after couple hours, just before our show. I had to borrow a T-shirt and shorts from Vicky. Naturally I had my revenge when she was at the hotel swimming pool."

He parked the car. We were in a small dark alley.

"If you're planning on killing me, this is the perfect spot." I laughed as he came to open my door. He gently pulled me out of the car into his arms. He gave me a very long and passionate kiss and I could feel his hands moving all over me.

"You really are killing me." I whispered out of breath.

"Good." he whispered into my ear. Then he took my and led me to a door. Bear in mind that this was a very dark alley so I had no idea where we were or where that door was leading to. When he opened the door, I saw a huge kitchen. I guessed we were in a restaurant and I guessed right. There was a chef who nodded to us politely and told Sidney that everything was ready. Then Sidney took me to a room filled with red roses and candles. And when I say this, I don't mean just few candles, it felt like the whole room was on fire, that's how many candles there were. It was really beautiful, I've never seen anything like it.

"You really have a thing for roses and candles. And closing restaurants for a peaceful dinner." I sighed with a smile.

"Only this time I didn't close the restaurant. This is a private cabinet but on the other side of this wall there are people eating the best food in Pittsburgh." He smiled and pulled a chair for me.

"Thank you."

A waiter came in. He looked like a butler from some old fashioned British movie. He gave us the menus and with a bow he disappeared.

Instead of looking at the menu, he kept staring at me.

"What?" I asked.


I tried to concentrate on the menu but his eyes made it impossible

"Seriously what?"

"Seriously nothing." He laughed. I just sighed and lifted the menu so he couldn't see me anymore. I could hear him laughing.

"I think I'm going to order pasta." I said trying to get his attention to his menu.

"Okay. I think I'll have my usual.

"You come here often?" I asked not really understanding why he burst into laugh.

"Great pick-up line." He said.

"Haha. You use it often?" I said sarcasticly.

"No, I'm more original. If this was the first time I'd meet you, I would tell you that I like your dress but I'd like it more on my bedroom floor."

Now it was my time to laugh.

"You wouldn't say that. That's not even so original. I've heard it many times."

"Okay, what about this: Wow, this is how it feels like."

I raised my eyebrows.

"I don't get that."

"Love at first sight." He explained. My God, he wasn't joking.

"You fell in... No! Wow you're really good with pick-up lines." I mumbled very selfconsciously.

"It really was love at first sight." He said seriously.

"Seriously?" I asked and I could literally feel myself blushing.

"Why do you look so surprised? Wasn't that pretty obvious?" He asked amused.

"I was an ass when we first met."

"No, you were sassy and unpredictable. I guess it's a deadly combination. And you were sexy as hell."

"You really are crazy." I sighed in shock.

"I guess I am." He smiled and gently rubbed my hand, which rested on the table.

"Netta... I love you."

My mind went blank.

"Y-y-you do?" I heard myself saying.

"Netta, you have to keep breathing."

Inhale, I ordered myself.

"I love you." He repeated.

My stupid brain stopped working. All my body was able to do was go numb. And then everything blurred.

I found myself sitting on the sidewalk being held up by Sidney's strong arms. He looked worried and amused at the same time. I could feel his breath on my cheek.

"Wh-what happened?" I asked and touched back of my head. What ever had happened, I must have hit my head because I had a small bump.

"You fainted." He looked really intensely at me, I guess he was trying to find out if something serious was wrong with me.

"Why are we here? Outside?"

We were in front of the restaurant and people passing by were giving us really curious looks.

"I thought you needed some fresh air."

"Oh. Well I'm okay now." I said and tried to stand up but his grip tightened.

"Don't even think about it. I don't want you fainting again. It's scary."

I guess I had no choise, so I just remained seated and tried to clear my head. What had just happened? I remembered the candles and roses. ANd slowly my mind returned to our conversation. And when I came to the part when Sidney spoke about loving me my body just shivered. I guess he felt it.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yep." I said. Once again I was trying to convince myself more than him. Something seriously was wrong with me.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Yes please." I whispered. The last thing I needed now was to go back to that room filled with romance. His house sounded more safe.

"Ok. Wait here. I'll get the car." He was already gone but I could hear him talking silently on the phone.

We didn't speak on our way home. I secretly glanced at him. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts which was a relief. I was not in the mood to chitchat. I really needed to get into my room and just lie on the bed, look at the ceiling and process this weird "I love you"-thing in my very complexed brain. As we turned to his driveway I had no idea what was waiting for us in the house, and more importantly in the backyard. If I had, I would've gladly gone back to that romance filled room.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Chapter 23. I think... He's PMSing

It's been too long, I know. I just had some trouble with motivation. I hope you like this chapter, though it is too short. I try to do another soon. Please comment. It helps with the motivation problem. Tell me your ideas...

Lennon and Yoko Ono had to abandon their plan, because our flight left early in the morning. When we got to his place, his phone had rung atleast ten times. His agent, his lawyer, his coach, and his teammates all seemed to have something to say. He gave an apologetic smile as he began to talk with his lawyer about some sponsor contract. I didn't mind. I got some time to text to my brothers and to Filippa, who had been very curious about my trip.

To my brothers I wrote: I'm fine. Stop worrying.

And to Filippa: Yes I'm back. :)

Nothing else. I knew that would make her go crazy. But it was my time to tease her. I guess our roles had changed. She texted me back demanding to know more, I answered her that she was too nosy. She texted that it was her duty as a friend and I answered that she was still nosy. I laughed quietly thinking about Filippa's annoyed face. Sidney looked at me with a cute smile on his face. I whispered that I was texting with Filippa and he gave me a nod and returned back to his conversation about signing some papers. He parked the car outside the garage and with his free hand he took my bigger luggage and I took the smaller one. The house looked exactly the same except next to the door there were Sidney's huge bags still unpacked after their last road trip.

"I was in a hurry so I didn't have time to unpack." he explained and kicked the back so it wouldn't be on our way.

I found it quite strange since Sidney Crosby that I had come to known was very tidy person. Everything was in order. Other thing that was weird too was the fact that his phone kept ringing and ringing. I knew he was a busy person but it started to be a bit ridiculous. And for some reason he tried to make sure that I couldn't hear his conversations well. When I saw stepped into the living room, I saw atleast 10 boxes all around the room.

"Are you moving?" I asked curiously.

"Um, no. They're just some sponsor stuff. For a photo shoot." He explained. For some reason he seemed a bit pissed off. Where I not allowed to the the boxes? They were lying in the middle of the freaking living room, so if they were something top secret shit, then why hadn't he atleast tried to hide them.

"Okay. Should we move them?" I asked.

"No!" he said and his risen voice got my eyebrows to rise too.

Wow, he was weird today. I wondered why. Had I said something wrong, or was this something usual? He was PMSing.

"I'll take my stuff upstairs," I said quietly. He just nodded and and after I had left I heard him calling someone. I felt sorry for the person who he was speaking to. He was pissed off.

I sighed as I finally got to Sidney's guest room. My bags were a challenge for me because of my injured leg. And for my great surprise Sidney didn't even offer to help me. Seriously, what was going on in that dude's mind. He was moody and weird. I shrugged and sat on the bed. I looked around the room and noticed that he had put some paintings on the wall. It made me smile, because I had told him that his walls were in serious need of some pictures and art. He had listened though he told me that he was too busy to even noticed the walls, so what was the point of buying something he wouldn't even notice. He had bought some lovely paintings and hung them here were he knew I would be sleeping. He knew that I would notice them.

I heard a silent knock on the door and as I turned my eyes towards it, I saw him there smiling at me.

"You like them?" He asked and nodded towards the paintings.

"Yeah. I love them." I couldn't help but smile. He was weird but so cute and lovely.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Chapter 22. I Think...I'm Approximately the 5th

One of the most annoying thing is that when you get really into some blog you read it really fast and then it takes ages (or atleast it feels like it) to writer to update and you to get new chapters to read. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. Two weeks. Duh! I hope this chapter makes it up to you guys. And I am super thankful for your comments. THANK YOU! And a new follower! Awesome! So here's the chapter. Enjoy!

He ordered Chinese food for us and we made jokes about his chopsticks skills, or should I say lack of skills. After that we just did what we do best, we relaxed on the couch and just talked about everything and nothing. It was like I had never even left.

"I think I'm never letting you go back to Finland. This is too nice" He sighed and tightened his arms around me.

"Oh no mister. I know what your doing. Don't you dare to change the subject." I laughed. I had just asked about his previous lady friends.

"What do you want to know?" He moaned.

"Well... how many?" I asked, not really sure whether I wanted to know or not.

"I don't know... depends what counts?" He said and teased me with a naughty grin.

"What counts? Feelings counts, even crush."

"Um. I guess approximately 4." I could see he was not very comfortable with this topic.

"Approximately?" I wasn't sure was it a good thing or a bad thing.

"Yeah. I'm not sure. Oh, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I asked confused.

"Like you're thinking I'm a "bad boy" for not even knowing the number of my lady friends. And, come on, who calls them lady friends?"

"Fippa." I giggled. He laughed too.

"Besides not all of them were really ladylike." He continued.

"Aha. Well that's nice. So anything goes." I teased him.

"Oh come on. I'm not proud of everything I've done." He pleaded me to stop but I was not willing to do that. I wanted to know more. I don't know why, I mean if I was to find out one of those four was miss USA, I would die because of the loud of the pressure that would come with that knowledge.

"What where they like?"

He gave me the look of "let's talk about something else".

"Please, I want to know."

"Argh... fine. Jenny, my first crush, I guess she's married now. And then there was Lydia, my first..." He quickly stopped before finishing his sentence and looked at me slightly embarrassed.

"Your first dididumdum." I said seriously.

"Wh-what? What did you just say?" He laughed.

"Dididumdum. When I was younger my parents didn't want me to watch movies or TV shows with too much dididumdum, if you know what I mean." I explained.

"Well she was my first dididumdum." He said matter of factly.

"And then there was..." I said so he would continue.

"Anne. Just after I moved to Pittsburgh, I think she hates me now." That surprised me especially since there seemed to be guilt in his voice.

"Why? What did you do?" I asked quietly.

"I think I'm her Daniel." He said and looked away from me. I've never seen him like that. He looked like he was really ashamed of himself.


"I didn't see her the way she saw me." He continued and turned his eyes back on me.

"And after Anne?"

"A blond chick. Don't know her name." My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open and I just stared at him. I didn't think he was like that. But then again, he was a guy. Rich, professional athlete and surrounded by hot women all the time. I guess I kind of knew that though I didn't like it.

"Like I said, I'm not proud of everything I've done." He said and gently pushed my chin to close my mouth.

"Do you still like me?" He asked. I wasn't sure was he serious or just joking.

"Yes, I do still like you."

"Good. Because I've grown as a person since them. And I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to know that." He was dead serious.

"I know that." The same overwhelming feeling that washed over me at the JFK, took over. He was so intense. It was like his life depended on me believing him. Tears rose in to my eyes. Not because I was sad, but because how emotional that moment was. I had never been really good with showing my feelings to other people and an old habit kicked in. I quickly wiped away the tears and shrugged.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

"Did what?"

"Hide away." He said.

"I don't know. Old habit, I guess."

"I don't like it when you hide from me." He sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hide from you. But like this. It's like I'm hiding with you. Hiding from the world around us. I can't believe I'm actually saying that I love to be in a hotel suite when there's my favorite city surrounding us."

"You want to go outside?" He asked.

"No!" I shouted and he laughed at my reaction.

"I don't want to leave ever. Let's just stay here for the rest of our lives. You have enough money to pay for this room for the next 60-70 years, right?"

"We could be like Lennon and Yoko Ono, except we would take this even further. Never to leave our couch." He laughed.

"Sounds like a plan."