Chapter 24. I Think... Huh?

Sidney told me that he had plans for us for the night. So I was in my fancy cocktail dress sitting next to him in his car. He wasn't moody anymore. Weirdly enough he was really happy and bubbly. He couldn't stop smiling and making really bad jokes, which I still loved. His jokes are so bad that they are funny. I think some of his worst ones are epic. I loved when he told about his teammates and pranks they did to keep things exciting. I told him about my own "team" and how we always did some silly things. Especially Filippa, who apparently thinks that it is funny to see me in very awkward situation.

"When we were in Singapore, she stole all my clothes while I was in shower. Of course she had no idea when I asked about them. She said that maybe someone had broken in and stolen them." I laughed.

"How long did it take to get them back?" He asked.

"My clothes miraculously came back after couple hours, just before our show. I had to borrow a T-shirt and shorts from Vicky. Naturally I had my revenge when she was at the hotel swimming pool."

He parked the car. We were in a small dark alley.

"If you're planning on killing me, this is the perfect spot." I laughed as he came to open my door. He gently pulled me out of the car into his arms. He gave me a very long and passionate kiss and I could feel his hands moving all over me.

"You really are killing me." I whispered out of breath.

"Good." he whispered into my ear. Then he took my and led me to a door. Bear in mind that this was a very dark alley so I had no idea where we were or where that door was leading to. When he opened the door, I saw a huge kitchen. I guessed we were in a restaurant and I guessed right. There was a chef who nodded to us politely and told Sidney that everything was ready. Then Sidney took me to a room filled with red roses and candles. And when I say this, I don't mean just few candles, it felt like the whole room was on fire, that's how many candles there were. It was really beautiful, I've never seen anything like it.

"You really have a thing for roses and candles. And closing restaurants for a peaceful dinner." I sighed with a smile.

"Only this time I didn't close the restaurant. This is a private cabinet but on the other side of this wall there are people eating the best food in Pittsburgh." He smiled and pulled a chair for me.

"Thank you."

A waiter came in. He looked like a butler from some old fashioned British movie. He gave us the menus and with a bow he disappeared.

Instead of looking at the menu, he kept staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

I tried to concentrate on the menu but his eyes made it impossible

"Seriously what?"

"Seriously nothing." He laughed. I just sighed and lifted the menu so he couldn't see me anymore. I could hear him laughing.

"I think I'm going to order pasta." I said trying to get his attention to his menu.

"Okay. I think I'll have my usual.

"You come here often?" I asked not really understanding why he burst into laugh.

"Great pick-up line." He said.

"Haha. You use it often?" I said sarcasticly.

"No, I'm more original. If this was the first time I'd meet you, I would tell you that I like your dress but I'd like it more on my bedroom floor."

Now it was my time to laugh.

"You wouldn't say that. That's not even so original. I've heard it many times."

"Okay, what about this: Wow, this is how it feels like."

I raised my eyebrows.

"I don't get that."

"Love at first sight." He explained. My God, he wasn't joking.

"You fell in... No! Wow you're really good with pick-up lines." I mumbled very selfconsciously.

"It really was love at first sight." He said seriously.

"Seriously?" I asked and I could literally feel myself blushing.

"Why do you look so surprised? Wasn't that pretty obvious?" He asked amused.

"I was an ass when we first met."

"No, you were sassy and unpredictable. I guess it's a deadly combination. And you were sexy as hell."

"You really are crazy." I sighed in shock.

"I guess I am." He smiled and gently rubbed my hand, which rested on the table.

"Netta... I love you."

My mind went blank.

"Y-y-you do?" I heard myself saying.

"Netta, you have to keep breathing."

Inhale, I ordered myself.

"I love you." He repeated.

My stupid brain stopped working. All my body was able to do was go numb. And then everything blurred.


I found myself sitting on the sidewalk being held up by Sidney's strong arms. He looked worried and amused at the same time. I could feel his breath on my cheek.

"Wh-what happened?" I asked and touched back of my head. What ever had happened, I must have hit my head because I had a small bump.

"You fainted." He looked really intensely at me, I guess he was trying to find out if something serious was wrong with me.

"Why are we here? Outside?"

We were in front of the restaurant and people passing by were giving us really curious looks.

"I thought you needed some fresh air."

"Oh. Well I'm okay now." I said and tried to stand up but his grip tightened.

"Don't even think about it. I don't want you fainting again. It's scary."

I guess I had no choise, so I just remained seated and tried to clear my head. What had just happened? I remembered the candles and roses. ANd slowly my mind returned to our conversation. And when I came to the part when Sidney spoke about loving me my body just shivered. I guess he felt it.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yep." I said. Once again I was trying to convince myself more than him. Something seriously was wrong with me.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Yes please." I whispered. The last thing I needed now was to go back to that room filled with romance. His house sounded more safe.

"Ok. Wait here. I'll get the car." He was already gone but I could hear him talking silently on the phone.

We didn't speak on our way home. I secretly glanced at him. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts which was a relief. I was not in the mood to chitchat. I really needed to get into my room and just lie on the bed, look at the ceiling and process this weird "I love you"-thing in my very complexed brain. As we turned to his driveway I had no idea what was waiting for us in the house, and more importantly in the backyard. If I had, I would've gladly gone back to that romance filled room.

Chapter 23. I think... He's PMSing

It's been too long, I know. I just had some trouble with motivation. I hope you like this chapter, though it is too short. I try to do another soon. Please comment. It helps with the motivation problem. Tell me your ideas...


Lennon and Yoko Ono had to abandon their plan, because our flight left early in the morning. When we got to his place, his phone had rung atleast ten times. His agent, his lawyer, his coach, and his teammates all seemed to have something to say. He gave an apologetic smile as he began to talk with his lawyer about some sponsor contract. I didn't mind. I got some time to text to my brothers and to Filippa, who had been very curious about my trip.

To my brothers I wrote: I'm fine. Stop worrying.

And to Filippa: Yes I'm back. :)

Nothing else. I knew that would make her go crazy. But it was my time to tease her. I guess our roles had changed. She texted me back demanding to know more, I answered her that she was too nosy. She texted that it was her duty as a friend and I answered that she was still nosy. I laughed quietly thinking about Filippa's annoyed face. Sidney looked at me with a cute smile on his face. I whispered that I was texting with Filippa and he gave me a nod and returned back to his conversation about signing some papers. He parked the car outside the garage and with his free hand he took my bigger luggage and I took the smaller one. The house looked exactly the same except next to the door there were Sidney's huge bags still unpacked after their last road trip.

"I was in a hurry so I didn't have time to unpack." he explained and kicked the back so it wouldn't be on our way.

I found it quite strange since Sidney Crosby that I had come to known was very tidy person. Everything was in order. Other thing that was weird too was the fact that his phone kept ringing and ringing. I knew he was a busy person but it started to be a bit ridiculous. And for some reason he tried to make sure that I couldn't hear his conversations well. When I saw stepped into the living room, I saw atleast 10 boxes all around the room.

"Are you moving?" I asked curiously.

"Um, no. They're just some sponsor stuff. For a photo shoot." He explained. For some reason he seemed a bit pissed off. Where I not allowed to the the boxes? They were lying in the middle of the freaking living room, so if they were something top secret shit, then why hadn't he atleast tried to hide them.

"Okay. Should we move them?" I asked.

"No!" he said and his risen voice got my eyebrows to rise too.

Wow, he was weird today. I wondered why. Had I said something wrong, or was this something usual? He was PMSing.

"I'll take my stuff upstairs," I said quietly. He just nodded and and after I had left I heard him calling someone. I felt sorry for the person who he was speaking to. He was pissed off.

I sighed as I finally got to Sidney's guest room. My bags were a challenge for me because of my injured leg. And for my great surprise Sidney didn't even offer to help me. Seriously, what was going on in that dude's mind. He was moody and weird. I shrugged and sat on the bed. I looked around the room and noticed that he had put some paintings on the wall. It made me smile, because I had told him that his walls were in serious need of some pictures and art. He had listened though he told me that he was too busy to even noticed the walls, so what was the point of buying something he wouldn't even notice. He had bought some lovely paintings and hung them here were he knew I would be sleeping. He knew that I would notice them.

I heard a silent knock on the door and as I turned my eyes towards it, I saw him there smiling at me.

"You like them?" He asked and nodded towards the paintings.

"Yeah. I love them." I couldn't help but smile. He was weird but so cute and lovely.

Chapter 22. I Think...I'm Approximately the 5th

One of the most annoying thing is that when you get really into some blog you read it really fast and then it takes ages (or atleast it feels like it) to writer to update and you to get new chapters to read. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. Two weeks. Duh! I hope this chapter makes it up to you guys. And I am super thankful for your comments. THANK YOU! And a new follower! Awesome! So here's the chapter. Enjoy!


He ordered Chinese food for us and we made jokes about his chopsticks skills, or should I say lack of skills. After that we just did what we do best, we relaxed on the couch and just talked about everything and nothing. It was like I had never even left.

"I think I'm never letting you go back to Finland. This is too nice" He sighed and tightened his arms around me.

"Oh no mister. I know what your doing. Don't you dare to change the subject." I laughed. I had just asked about his previous lady friends.

"What do you want to know?" He moaned.

"Well... how many?" I asked, not really sure whether I wanted to know or not.

"I don't know... depends what counts?" He said and teased me with a naughty grin.

"What counts? Feelings counts, even crush."

"Um. I guess approximately 4." I could see he was not very comfortable with this topic.

"Approximately?" I wasn't sure was it a good thing or a bad thing.

"Yeah. I'm not sure. Oh, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I asked confused.

"Like you're thinking I'm a "bad boy" for not even knowing the number of my lady friends. And, come on, who calls them lady friends?"

"Fippa." I giggled. He laughed too.

"Besides not all of them were really ladylike." He continued.

"Aha. Well that's nice. So anything goes." I teased him.

"Oh come on. I'm not proud of everything I've done." He pleaded me to stop but I was not willing to do that. I wanted to know more. I don't know why, I mean if I was to find out one of those four was miss USA, I would die because of the loud of the pressure that would come with that knowledge.

"What where they like?"

He gave me the look of "let's talk about something else".

"Please, I want to know."

"Argh... fine. Jenny, my first crush, I guess she's married now. And then there was Lydia, my first..." He quickly stopped before finishing his sentence and looked at me slightly embarrassed.

"Your first dididumdum." I said seriously.

"Wh-what? What did you just say?" He laughed.

"Dididumdum. When I was younger my parents didn't want me to watch movies or TV shows with too much dididumdum, if you know what I mean." I explained.

"Well she was my first dididumdum." He said matter of factly.

"And then there was..." I said so he would continue.

"Anne. Just after I moved to Pittsburgh, I think she hates me now." That surprised me especially since there seemed to be guilt in his voice.

"Why? What did you do?" I asked quietly.

"I think I'm her Daniel." He said and looked away from me. I've never seen him like that. He looked like he was really ashamed of himself.

"Oh."

"I didn't see her the way she saw me." He continued and turned his eyes back on me.

"And after Anne?"

"A blond chick. Don't know her name." My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open and I just stared at him. I didn't think he was like that. But then again, he was a guy. Rich, professional athlete and surrounded by hot women all the time. I guess I kind of knew that though I didn't like it.

"Like I said, I'm not proud of everything I've done." He said and gently pushed my chin to close my mouth.

"Do you still like me?" He asked. I wasn't sure was he serious or just joking.

"Yes, I do still like you."

"Good. Because I've grown as a person since them. And I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to know that." He was dead serious.

"I know that." The same overwhelming feeling that washed over me at the JFK, took over. He was so intense. It was like his life depended on me believing him. Tears rose in to my eyes. Not because I was sad, but because how emotional that moment was. I had never been really good with showing my feelings to other people and an old habit kicked in. I quickly wiped away the tears and shrugged.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

"Did what?"

"Hide away." He said.

"I don't know. Old habit, I guess."

"I don't like it when you hide from me." He sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hide from you. But like this. It's like I'm hiding with you. Hiding from the world around us. I can't believe I'm actually saying that I love to be in a hotel suite when there's my favorite city surrounding us."

"You want to go outside?" He asked.

"No!" I shouted and he laughed at my reaction.

"I don't want to leave ever. Let's just stay here for the rest of our lives. You have enough money to pay for this room for the next 60-70 years, right?"

"We could be like Lennon and Yoko Ono, except we would take this even further. Never to leave our couch." He laughed.

"Sounds like a plan."

Chapter 21. I Think... I Like Cheesy Lines

Happy new year 2011! I think it's time for a new chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. I wish you would write a comment. It gives me extra motivation to write and sadly I haven't got any comments for a long time. So let me know what you think and your ideas would also be appreciated...



Me leaving again was a pleasant surprise for Kayley because she wanted someone else to be the new family member, because according to her it was a hard job especially because of my mom and her very very very enthusiastic sisters. But rest of the family wasn't that excited. They even tried to make me change my mind, which was pretty hopeless since I would never change my mind. I missed him so much and i needed to be with him. Even at the airport Niklas asked me to think this trough once again.

"Think about it Netta. You just had a surgery. Besides you just came back." He pleaded. I didn't think he was worried about my knee. Instead he wasn't happy knowing I was leaving because a guy.

"I love you all, but you guys really are pain in the ass." I moaned. "I have a free ticket and I'm not going to just throw it away."

Niklas threw his hands in the air as a surrender. It was useless, he knew that. He had seen how everything in my changed when I even talked about Sidney. He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear to be careful.

"Kay, try to keep my brother out of trouble." I said and she just rolled her eyes.

"I'll do my best."

Sooner than I realized I was sitting on a plane seat, business class naturally, and fastening my seat belt. I was going to see him. I was going to be with him. A wave of happiness washed over me.

The flight went smoothly. But my feelings weren't so smooth. The closer we got to JFK I got more nervous. We haven't seen each other for many weeks. I couldn't sit still, I had to move my feet all the time and I started to bite my finger nails, which is funny because I've never done it earlier. Why was I so nervous. He wanted me to come... Right? Yes! He had even bought the ticket. So he DID want me there. Oh man, I think I'm having a panic attack and I have no idea why. I tried to concentrate on breathing but when there was only 15 minutes left before landing even as simple thing as that turned into something very difficult. Even the old lady next to me started to get worried,

"Miss, are you alright?" She asked and stared at me.

"Um... I'm fine." I whispered but it didn't sound really reassuring.

"You don't look fine, dear." She continued. I was not going to tell her how pathetic I was so I had to lie.

"I'm a little scared of flying." I finally came up with a reasonable explanation. She believed me.

"Oh dear. Everything's going to be just fine. Here, give me your hand. We're almost there." And rest of the flight I was holding her hand as she tried to calm me down.

JFK was busy as always and it took ages to get my bags, but when I finally got them on my trolley I remembered that Sidney hadn't told me anything else about my trip. Like what was going to happen next. Was he waiting for me here or was I suppose to go to Pittsburgh on my own? I got my answer the minute I walked into the arrival hall. He was standing there with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey beautiful!" he greeted and gave me a bear hug. He didn't even give me chance to say anything before placing his lips on mine. The kiss was like marijuana. I didn̈́'t want him to stop. But unfortunately he did stop. He had to crab me hard so I wouldn't fall down. He literally swept me off my feat.

"I missed you." I whispered suddenly feeling overwhelmed by him and his touch.

"And I missed you. Can't believe you're really here. I hope you're not too tired."

"I'm not." I lied. I was tired but it was not going to ruin anything.

"Good. I have plans." He sad with a mysterious grin. Then he took me outside and we took a cap. He told the driver to go to a certain address which I figured would be in midtown because of the street number. Other than that I had no idea where we were going. And naturally he refused to tell me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. If you have ever loved some one and been apart, you know how good it feels just to be near him and not say a word. It almost feels like speaking would ruin everything, like that magical moment would somehow disappear. Even our cap driver who was singing some Bollywood song couldn't take the magic away. Finally we were close because all the buildings started to rise high around us. I love New York, but right then I couldn't care less about the city. All I could think about was him. The cap parked in front of a building and I immediately recognized the place. It was the same hotel where we had met the second time when Filippa had taken me to a jazz concert held in the lobby.

"What are we doing here?" I asked after Sidney had payed the driver and taken my bags.

"We are staying here for the night and and in the morning we're flying to Pittsburgh." He told me as we walked into the lobby.

I almost choked when the receptionist told us that our suite was ready and we could take the elevator up.

"A suite?" I hissed under my breath as we entered the elevator.

"Yeah."

"A normal room would've been just fine." I laughed nervously.

"You're gonna love it." He just smiled.

And I did. It was huge and very beautiful. But most importantly there were roses and candles everywhere. I gulped. It was all very romantic. Too romantic. I started to panic. I was in a very expensive hotel suite filled with red roses and candles. So it must have meant that he wanted something from me. Something that we hadn't done before. And that something scared the hell out of me. I was hardly comfortable exposing myself emotionally so there was no way that I could let him get physically that close to me.

"Do you like it?" He asked and put my bags down. Luckily I was not facing him so he couldn't see my desperation.

"Yes." I answered but it sounded more like a question than an answer.

I heard him taking taking couple steps towards me but suddenly he stopped.

"Netta." He said softly. It took all my will power to say something.

"Wh-what?"

"Honey, you can relax." He said. I think he was a bit amused because of a tone of his voice. "I just wanted to surprise you. That's all." So he knew what I was thinking. Now I was embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed." He said. Damn, he could read my mind.

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm crazy. And I don't blame you, because I agree."

"You're not crazy but I'm crazy about you." He said. And I believed him, though that was probably one of the cheesiest lines I've ever heard.

Chapter 20. I think...I'm in Seventh Heaven

As I had expected it was hard to have our phone dates ( Sidney called came up with that name) because of the stupid time zones. Even after my surgery, which forced me to stay at my parent's house doing absolutely nothing, we didn't find time. He was doing interviews and all sorts of campaigns in addition to his normal game schedule. Stupid Olympics! He was going to be on the team, though it wasn't official yet. He sent me messages apologizing for being too busy. I tried to understanding but frustration won my fake attitude sometimes. Usually when I was alone while my parents were at work. When they were home I tried to stay happy and concentrated on my recovery, because I didn't want them to be worried. Since my mom found out about me being in a relationship her stress level rose. She's a worrying type. I wanted her to think that everything was just fine, especially with Sidney. But I guess she knew I was faking it because she gave me all her weird looks and sighs.

But when he did call, I was in seventh heaven. His voice was so comforting that it made me forget that weren't sitting on his couch hand in hand. It made me forget my knee and most of all it made me forget all the frustration. I guess it was Friday when he called. It was almost 10 PM in Finland but he had just woke up from his pregame nap. He was still quite sleepy and sounded really funny and cute.

"Hey you." He said quietly.

"Hi!" I whispered for some reason. Maybe I didn't want my brothers, who were having their father-sons sauna and beer night, to hear me. I went to my bedroom, which by the way looked like a 10 year-old would live in there since I had all my childhood dolls and stuffed animals in there. I closed the door.

"Niksu and Noppa (Because they called my Tiny, I had come up with nicknames that had first irritated them but unfortunately they had grown used to them) are here. They just created the ultimate Olympics hockey team."

"Am I on their team?" He asked amused.

"No, they went old school. You know Gretzky and Kurri." I laughed and sat down on my bed. With my free hand I pushed my crutches onto the floor.

"Got to respect that." He chuckled.

For a while we didn't say anything. It was like neither of us found something to say, though there were million thing on our minds.

"Things are pretty crazy around here." He finally sighed.

"What's going on?" I asked suddenly feeling really tired not just physically but mentally. This long distance shit was almost too much for me to handle.

"Nothing that's not normal. I wish you were here though."

"I wish that too." I said it so quietly that he could barely hear me.

Damn, I wish it so badly that my whole body aches.

"Oh, I almost forgot. There'll be a delivery for you tomorrow morning. Are going to be home?"

"Where else would I be?" I laughed sarcastically.



Next morning when I woke up, there was a huge box on the kitchen table waiting for me. I guess the delivery man had come while I was still asleep and my parents had signed it for me before leaving for work. I smiled knowing that it was form him. I opened the box and saw a huge rose bouquet, similar to those which he had sent me when I was still touring and he was trying to make a good impression. There was also a note.

So you won't forget me.
Love, Sid.

I picked up the bouquet and found a vase big enough for it. I was about to put the box away when I noticed that there was something more inside. It was a small blue box, but to make it very clear, it didn't look like a ring box. It was slightly bigger. When I opened it I had to remind myself to breath. How did he get this!? My goodness! It was the exact necklace that I had lost in Central Park the day I had first met him. My grandmother's necklace. He hadn't just had it custom made to look like it. It was the exact same piece. I knew it because of a small crack. In the small box was also another note.

I guess this belongs to you.
Love, Sid

And I also found bigger envelope from the bottom of the big box. I slowly opened it, still feeling astonished at the necklace.

Dear Netta,

I wanted to show you that I'm serious about us. I'm serious when I say that you can trust me. I want you to know that I would do anything for you and I hope that my gift showed you how much you mean to mean. Being far away from you is hard but it sure does beat being close with someone else. Now I want you to call this number so you can get my real gift. It's a selfish gift, but hope you'll like it anyways.
Love, Sid

I took my cell and dialed the number he had wrote down. For my surprise a travel agency answered. The lady told me that there was a reservation for me.

"Okay... What kind of a reservation?" I asked puzzled.

"You'll fly from Helsinki to New York on Monday." She said and tried to sound very professional though I could hear from her voice that she was quite curious.

"On Monday!" I almost screamed. I pitied her ear.

"Yes, on Monday. And there seems to be a message for you attached to your booking. Let me see..." I could hear her clicking the mouse and typing something.

"...Yes, here it is. You should not be worried about anything since there will be a personal physiotherapist waiting for you and a very talented doctor with lots of experience in sports injuries."

Oh wow! I guess I don't have to take this long distance shit much longer!

Chapter 19. I Think... I Have Crazy Brothers

I watched outside the plane window. We were about to land. Everything seemed so tiny and because winter was winning summer in their battle, everything was covered under a thin layer of white thing that I did not like. I was a summer person and snow represented everything I disliked; cold. When the plane touched the runway I sighed. So this was it. I was back home. Funny, I had pictured this very differently. Most importantly I had pictured this to happen on March. I knew my whole family would be waiting for me at the airport so I was mentally preparing myself to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy to see them, but still I wish I didn't have to, not yet. When everyone else got u to get their stuff from overhead lockers, I decided to stay on my seat. It always irritated me when a plane landed and every single person on the plane wanted to be the first person to get out. So instead of joining them, I stayed put and that way I also didn't have to face Finland just yet. See, I have a theory that if you're in an airplane your not in any country. You're in a neutral no man's land. Of course I couldn't stay there for ever. As I had expected, my whole family was there. Mom, dad, Nooa, Nilkas and Kayley, my grandmas and grandpas. Lot's of hugs and kisses and me and my brothers trying to make our mom stop crying was what usually happened at our airport reunions. This was no exception. My mother was having her "I got my baby back!" moment and we just had to leave as fast as possible to avoid any more weird glares at us. Last time someone, who said he was doctor, had asked whether she needed medical help. I was driving with my brothers and Kayley.

"I know you missed me a lot, but don't you think this is a bit too much. Just break your leg so you could finally see me." Nooa was teasing.

"Ha haa. That's very funny." I said and playfully hit his shoulder.

"Hey kids, knock it off!" Niklas who was driving said in that very authoritative big brother voice.

"Is it too early to ask about him?" Kayley asked and Niklas nearly drove off the road. See my brothers, especially Niklas, were really protective over me. I hadn't told them anything about Sidney, because he actually might have flown across the Atlantic to give Sidney "the talk". ANd luckily Kayley had kept the secret.

"I don't want him to go crazy, so of course I won't tell them anything." She had said on the phone.

"There's a he?" Niklas asked in shock. I noticed how Nooa was also really tensed next to me and demanding me to answer with his stare.

"Thanks Kay!" I laughed. She gave me a fake apologetic smile. I knew that there was no way out of telling my crazy brothers. They literally were crazy. My dad had joked that he didn't have to buy a gun to keep boys away from me since Niklas and Nooa were doing such a great job.

"So Tiny, (they called me that) who's this guy?" Nooa asked.

"Well, he's Canadian." I started carefully.

"He's a lot more than a Canadian." Kayley said and giggled at my discomfort.

"Seriously Kay! Shut up!" She just winked at me over her shoulder.

"Tiny, start talking." Niklas ordered.

"Well he's not a jerk. Isn't that all you want to know? I've heard you going on and on about how I should stay away from jerks. So you should be very pleased." I said.

"Tiny, I don't trust your judgment." Niklas said.

"I know a jerk when I see one." I said offensively. My brothers just burst into laugh.

"Yeah. And Kayley here is going to learn cross country skiing." Niklas said sarcastically.

"Never!" Kayley almost screamed. She had very strong opinions about cross country skiing. According to her she would never ever do it in her entire life, no matter how great exercise it was.

"That's what I thought." Niklas laughed. Then I did what I always did when I was younger and my brothers were teasing me. I pouted my lips and refused to talk to them after I had said "I don't like you!"

"If Tiny won't tell us anything, it's your job to inform us." Niklas said to his wife who was still thinking about cross country skiing.

"What, me? Babe, as much as I enjoy observing you and Nooa doing your big brother thing, I am a woman. And we women have to have each other's back. I'm not even going to tell you that he is someone you guys have been discussing about last summer. "

"Kay!" I sighed.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Nooa asked clearly irritated.

"I'm not telling anything." Kayley said but I could see she was thinking something more to say.

"Did you have good time in Pittsburgh?" She asked innocently. Okay, that was it. They would guess from that.

"Um... yeah." I muttered.

"Did you see him play?" She continued. What ever happened to "we women" speech? Well I guess I would have to tell them sooner or later. I'd rather do it later but Kayley clearly didn't like that idea.

We were in the middle of highway, but that didn't stop Niklas from braking really fast and pulling to the side. I was happy there wasn't a car just behind us or otherwise there would have been an accident.

"I don't think you are allowed to stop here." I said.

"Yeah, babe. If a police sees us here..." Kayley was also getting worried and she was eying the road behind us making sure there were no police cars near.

"Kayley, are you, in your very subtle way, trying to tell me that my sister is involved with some a hockey player?" Niklas asked his wife.

"Niklas, don't get upset. He seems to be a very nice guy." Kayley said and tapped gently his arm. My brothers snorted almost in unison. It was time to open my mouth and say something.

"Guys, he really is. He's good to me. He's sweet and gentle. He would never hurt me. And I'm not being naive like with...Daniel. He really is. I'm finally over Daniel. It's a good thing, right? Didn't you always say that I should be with someone who's worthy of me. He is. And if you'd meet him, you'd agree. I think you would like him, cause he doesn't go easy on me." I noticed how Niklas was looking at me with really weird eyes. I couldn't read his expression. Neither Nooa's.

"Are you in love?" Niklas asked. His voice was both worried and curious.

"It's too early for that." I mumbled selfconsciously.

"Tiny, if he breaks your heart, you know we got your back." Nooa said softly. And with those words they were telling me that it was okay, well maybe okay but almost okay.

"I wonder what would Sidney say if he knew how crazy this dudes are." I guess Kayley thought that it was time to tell them the last part of this secret.

I'm glad that the car was not moving. Niklas would most like have flipped the car around.

Chapter 18. I Think...I Saw This Coming

It was both great and not so great to be back with the girls. It was great because now I was able to witness all the crazy stuff that happened every time Filippa was somewhere. But it also meant being away from Sidney. We talked on the phone everyday but it wasn't enough. Funny that earlier it was more than enough. Now just hearing his voice made me want to drive to airport and buy a ticket to a place where he was playing. Of course I didn't do that. Not being with Sidney wasn't the only not so great thing. I just had to watch when others danced. My whole body wanted to move with them. Unfortunately my knee wasn't any better. I might have gone too far with my exercises because the knee was swollen and I had to use crutches once again. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I would most likely need a surgery. That thought made me irritated and I even snapped at Filippa couple of times and even at Sidney on the phone.

"I'm sorry. I'm just really upset about my knee." I murmured on the phone. He just chuckled.

"It's alright. Is worse than yesterday?"

"Yep. Like hundred times worse. I had to take those really strong painkillers. They make me really tired." I said and yawned.

"Have you seen a doctor?" He asked and I bet he knew that me seeing a doctor would mean surgery.

"Not yet." I sighed.

"You know you have to, sooner or later."

"I know, I know. I'm just waiting for a while if the exercises would work and the ice bags."

"Nets, you have to see a doctor. Otherwise they might have to cut the whole thing off." He said in very serious tone though he was joking.

"Okay, I will! Let's talk about something less depressing. How was your day?"

"We won." He told me though he knew I knew that.

"Old news." I laughed.

"Did you know that Jordan's just calling Filippa?" He asked.

"Oh that's why she's in the lobby." I laughed. "I thought she was hitting on that cute reception guy."

"Cute, huh?" Was he jealous? That thought made me smile.

"Not as cute as you." I laughed.

"That's my girl." He laughed back.

"You know I really like you?"

"I like you too. I think you're my favorite person." He said. I was picturing myself in his arms on his couch. I sighed and he heard it.

"Netta?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" He sounded concerned.

"This is stupid. Not being there with, it's lame."

"I know." He sighed too. "You know what I would do if you were here?" He asked and I could here from his voice that he had that cute flirty smile on his face.

"Tell me." I smiled.

"I would kiss you really hard."

"Oh, dirty talking." I laughed.

"And then I would just keep kissing you." He continued.

"I'd like that."



The next day at the doctor's office I heard what I didn't want to hear. Me injury required a surgery. Shit!

"So?" Victoria asked both hopefully and concerned. She had come to the doctor with me. I just shook me head in frustration.

"Surgery?" She wanted to make sure though everything in me was screaming it.

"Yep." I said and then I used every possible curse word I knew in Finnish, Swedish and English.

"Okay. Nu måste vi ringa till Erik och Mariella." (Now we have to call Erik and Mariella) She said. Erik and Mariella were our producers. They didn't travel with us but stayed in Stockholm. We both knew what that meant. They would order me to fly back home. I was only wasting their money now that I wasn't dancing. Besides the insurance company wouldn't pay my surgery here. Only in Finland. She put her around my shoulders trying to make me feel better.

"Jag måste gå hem." (I have to go home) I sighed. I wish I could cry but since the waiting room was full of people I just swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Come on. Let's get a cap and go back to hotel."

Our ride back to the hotel was quiet. Victoria had promised to make the call and now she was explaining the situation to Erik. I didn't bother to listen to their conversation. I was too caught up on the thought of being on the different continent than Sidney. Wow, this was it. This was what I've been afraid of. This was the reason why I hadn't gone to see the doctor earlier. I had known this all along. But facing the truth was awful. There would be that crazy time difference so we just couldn't call each other so easily. There would be a stupid ocean between us.

Victoria put her phone back to her purse. She looked sad.

"He's getting a ticket for you to Helsinki." She sighed. I knew she wasn't telling me everything. Well she wasn't telling me when I'd be flying. She read me thoughts.

"Tomorrow morning."

Tomorrow.

"Great."



The girls waited for us at hotel. From our expressions they understood what was going on. Victoria told everybody what Erik had said on the phone and when she told that he was getting me a ticket on the morning flight they sighed and Filippa almost burst into tears. People around us were gave us strange looks when the girls gave me a group hug. Gosh, I was going to miss them.

I tried to eat something but I couldn't. I was anxiously waiting for the call I had to make. I had to tell him that I was leaving the country. Leaving the continent, damn it! Losing my appetite wasn't the only thing that was bothering me. Me leg was practically killing me. I think it was more psychosomatic than real pain caused by my injury. When I knew that his ice practice would finally be over I took my cell and pressed his number. He picked up pretty quickly. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello.

"I'm leaving." After saying that I turned on the waterworks.