Thursday, September 19, 2013

Chapter 29. I think...I have changed

Hey you! I'd love to read your comments. Are you still reading this blog? Do you want more? What do you expect to happen next? Anything that's on your mind...

And by the way, you can find my two other stories on the sidebar. A thing called sweet revenge (Jonathan Toews) and Last Name (Tyler Seguin)

 But now...

1 year after the supermarket incident

"Netta!" Fillippa screamed with excitement. She ran into my arms. I squeezed her tightly. 

"I missed you," I said. I took a step back and saw her new hair. I touched it and laughed.

"Did you pay for this?" Her hair looked crazy. 

"Hey! Leave my hair alone. I love it! It's amazing." She looked a bit upset.

"It's amazingly red," I said. 

"Exactly what I wanted. Rihanna was my inspiration. And no, I did not pay for it. I did it myself."

I nodded and grapped her hand. She followed me pulling her suitcase. As we stepped out of the arrival terminal I noticed how Filippa was giving me curious looks.


"You look good. I guess you started to eat again." She said.


I was glad she came to visit me. I hadn't seen her for over a year. Skype is great but nothing beats reality. 

"So, do you have plans for our weekend?" She asked as I drove my dad's car out of the airport parking garage. 

"I want you to meet someone." I said nervously. 


"Um... a guy. I've invited him for a dinner tonight. My parent's are in Berlin this weekend and we can stay at their house. There's more room. So I invited this guy, because I want you to meet him. My brothers and Kay are coming too." I was talking really fast.

"Right... a guy? Wow," she didn't sound excited.

"Yeah... I think you'll like him. He's a doctor."

"Just to be clear, are you trying to fix me up with someone or..."

"Oh no! I want you to meet him because... I... We... I like him. He's an old friend. We haven't been in touch for couple years..."

She looked shocked.

"Nets, what are you doing?"

I was confused. 


"Don't tell me.... PLEASE don't tell me this "old friend" is... No! I don't even want to say his name aloud. You must mean someone else."

I sighed. This is why I was nervous. I knew I had to explain this. Explain him. Filippa knew too much about him.

"Please, try to have an open mind." I pleaded.

"Are you serious? The guy who fucked your life up. This makes me sick."

"Fippa, he's changed. I'm changed." I said silently.

"No, you haven't changed. You're still, after all these years, blind and stupid."


"Seriously, you don't learn anything. You get burned and after couple months you burn yourself again. This is ridiculous. Why him? Why on earth Daniel!?"

Because Daniel has changed. Because I have changed.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Chapter 28. I think... I smell like a homeless person

He tried to call me. I didn't answer. He tried again. I didn't answer. He texted me. I deleted his messages without reading them. After 3 weeks he stopped. I was relieved. 

I'm not going to lie to you: I was a mess. I didn't want to leave my bed. And when someone opened my bedroom door, I just tuned my back. I wanted to be alone. I needed the world around me to stop existing. I needed this unbearable aching in my chest to stop. But most of all I needed the memory of his face, touch, voice, smell, laugh... to be erased from my head. 

1 month later

I opened my eyes. It was too early to wake up, so it was a perfect time, in my mind, to wake up. I smelled bad. I needed a shower. I tiptoed to bathroom and stood under the hot water nearly an hour. It was time for me to crawl out of my pity hole. It was time to step back into the world. And I couldn't do it if I smelled like a homeless person. I washed my hair 4 times to make sure it was clean. As I turned the water off, I heard a silent nock on the door.

"Netta, honey? Are you alright." my mom whispered. I guess I had woken her up.

"Yep. I just needed a shover." I answered giggling for some reason. 

"Ok. It's three a clock. You do know that.." she continued sounding extremely confused.


"Ok. Well, I'm going back to bed." 

I took my towel and wrapped it around me. Then I stood in front of the mirror. I looked awful. I was pale, though I had been in a hot shower. My eyes looked tired and my whole posture was tired. I looked 5 inches smaller than before. 

"Well, you sexy beast. Today you need to man up." I said. 

I sat in my parents' living room thinking what my whole "man up" thing really meant. It was 5 AM so I was in no hurry. 

"A plan. I need a plan." I said out loud. Two hours later my parents came downstairs. They were curious and worried. 

"You don't have to worry, guys. I have a plan. Today my life will go back to normal."

10 hours later

The plan failed. I was in a supermarket where I saw a NHL magazine. He was on the cover.