Thursday, December 30, 2010

Chapter 21. I Think... I Like Cheesy Lines

Happy new year 2011! I think it's time for a new chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. I wish you would write a comment. It gives me extra motivation to write and sadly I haven't got any comments for a long time. So let me know what you think and your ideas would also be appreciated...

Me leaving again was a pleasant surprise for Kayley because she wanted someone else to be the new family member, because according to her it was a hard job especially because of my mom and her very very very enthusiastic sisters. But rest of the family wasn't that excited. They even tried to make me change my mind, which was pretty hopeless since I would never change my mind. I missed him so much and i needed to be with him. Even at the airport Niklas asked me to think this trough once again.

"Think about it Netta. You just had a surgery. Besides you just came back." He pleaded. I didn't think he was worried about my knee. Instead he wasn't happy knowing I was leaving because a guy.

"I love you all, but you guys really are pain in the ass." I moaned. "I have a free ticket and I'm not going to just throw it away."

Niklas threw his hands in the air as a surrender. It was useless, he knew that. He had seen how everything in my changed when I even talked about Sidney. He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear to be careful.

"Kay, try to keep my brother out of trouble." I said and she just rolled her eyes.

"I'll do my best."

Sooner than I realized I was sitting on a plane seat, business class naturally, and fastening my seat belt. I was going to see him. I was going to be with him. A wave of happiness washed over me.

The flight went smoothly. But my feelings weren't so smooth. The closer we got to JFK I got more nervous. We haven't seen each other for many weeks. I couldn't sit still, I had to move my feet all the time and I started to bite my finger nails, which is funny because I've never done it earlier. Why was I so nervous. He wanted me to come... Right? Yes! He had even bought the ticket. So he DID want me there. Oh man, I think I'm having a panic attack and I have no idea why. I tried to concentrate on breathing but when there was only 15 minutes left before landing even as simple thing as that turned into something very difficult. Even the old lady next to me started to get worried,

"Miss, are you alright?" She asked and stared at me.

"Um... I'm fine." I whispered but it didn't sound really reassuring.

"You don't look fine, dear." She continued. I was not going to tell her how pathetic I was so I had to lie.

"I'm a little scared of flying." I finally came up with a reasonable explanation. She believed me.

"Oh dear. Everything's going to be just fine. Here, give me your hand. We're almost there." And rest of the flight I was holding her hand as she tried to calm me down.

JFK was busy as always and it took ages to get my bags, but when I finally got them on my trolley I remembered that Sidney hadn't told me anything else about my trip. Like what was going to happen next. Was he waiting for me here or was I suppose to go to Pittsburgh on my own? I got my answer the minute I walked into the arrival hall. He was standing there with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey beautiful!" he greeted and gave me a bear hug. He didn't even give me chance to say anything before placing his lips on mine. The kiss was like marijuana. I didn̈́'t want him to stop. But unfortunately he did stop. He had to crab me hard so I wouldn't fall down. He literally swept me off my feat.

"I missed you." I whispered suddenly feeling overwhelmed by him and his touch.

"And I missed you. Can't believe you're really here. I hope you're not too tired."

"I'm not." I lied. I was tired but it was not going to ruin anything.

"Good. I have plans." He sad with a mysterious grin. Then he took me outside and we took a cap. He told the driver to go to a certain address which I figured would be in midtown because of the street number. Other than that I had no idea where we were going. And naturally he refused to tell me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. If you have ever loved some one and been apart, you know how good it feels just to be near him and not say a word. It almost feels like speaking would ruin everything, like that magical moment would somehow disappear. Even our cap driver who was singing some Bollywood song couldn't take the magic away. Finally we were close because all the buildings started to rise high around us. I love New York, but right then I couldn't care less about the city. All I could think about was him. The cap parked in front of a building and I immediately recognized the place. It was the same hotel where we had met the second time when Filippa had taken me to a jazz concert held in the lobby.

"What are we doing here?" I asked after Sidney had payed the driver and taken my bags.

"We are staying here for the night and and in the morning we're flying to Pittsburgh." He told me as we walked into the lobby.

I almost choked when the receptionist told us that our suite was ready and we could take the elevator up.

"A suite?" I hissed under my breath as we entered the elevator.


"A normal room would've been just fine." I laughed nervously.

"You're gonna love it." He just smiled.

And I did. It was huge and very beautiful. But most importantly there were roses and candles everywhere. I gulped. It was all very romantic. Too romantic. I started to panic. I was in a very expensive hotel suite filled with red roses and candles. So it must have meant that he wanted something from me. Something that we hadn't done before. And that something scared the hell out of me. I was hardly comfortable exposing myself emotionally so there was no way that I could let him get physically that close to me.

"Do you like it?" He asked and put my bags down. Luckily I was not facing him so he couldn't see my desperation.

"Yes." I answered but it sounded more like a question than an answer.

I heard him taking taking couple steps towards me but suddenly he stopped.

"Netta." He said softly. It took all my will power to say something.


"Honey, you can relax." He said. I think he was a bit amused because of a tone of his voice. "I just wanted to surprise you. That's all." So he knew what I was thinking. Now I was embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed." He said. Damn, he could read my mind.

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm crazy. And I don't blame you, because I agree."

"You're not crazy but I'm crazy about you." He said. And I believed him, though that was probably one of the cheesiest lines I've ever heard.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Chapter 20. I think...I'm in Seventh Heaven

As I had expected it was hard to have our phone dates ( Sidney called came up with that name) because of the stupid time zones. Even after my surgery, which forced me to stay at my parent's house doing absolutely nothing, we didn't find time. He was doing interviews and all sorts of campaigns in addition to his normal game schedule. Stupid Olympics! He was going to be on the team, though it wasn't official yet. He sent me messages apologizing for being too busy. I tried to understanding but frustration won my fake attitude sometimes. Usually when I was alone while my parents were at work. When they were home I tried to stay happy and concentrated on my recovery, because I didn't want them to be worried. Since my mom found out about me being in a relationship her stress level rose. She's a worrying type. I wanted her to think that everything was just fine, especially with Sidney. But I guess she knew I was faking it because she gave me all her weird looks and sighs.

But when he did call, I was in seventh heaven. His voice was so comforting that it made me forget that weren't sitting on his couch hand in hand. It made me forget my knee and most of all it made me forget all the frustration. I guess it was Friday when he called. It was almost 10 PM in Finland but he had just woke up from his pregame nap. He was still quite sleepy and sounded really funny and cute.

"Hey you." He said quietly.

"Hi!" I whispered for some reason. Maybe I didn't want my brothers, who were having their father-sons sauna and beer night, to hear me. I went to my bedroom, which by the way looked like a 10 year-old would live in there since I had all my childhood dolls and stuffed animals in there. I closed the door.

"Niksu and Noppa (Because they called my Tiny, I had come up with nicknames that had first irritated them but unfortunately they had grown used to them) are here. They just created the ultimate Olympics hockey team."

"Am I on their team?" He asked amused.

"No, they went old school. You know Gretzky and Kurri." I laughed and sat down on my bed. With my free hand I pushed my crutches onto the floor.

"Got to respect that." He chuckled.

For a while we didn't say anything. It was like neither of us found something to say, though there were million thing on our minds.

"Things are pretty crazy around here." He finally sighed.

"What's going on?" I asked suddenly feeling really tired not just physically but mentally. This long distance shit was almost too much for me to handle.

"Nothing that's not normal. I wish you were here though."

"I wish that too." I said it so quietly that he could barely hear me.

Damn, I wish it so badly that my whole body aches.

"Oh, I almost forgot. There'll be a delivery for you tomorrow morning. Are going to be home?"

"Where else would I be?" I laughed sarcastically.

Next morning when I woke up, there was a huge box on the kitchen table waiting for me. I guess the delivery man had come while I was still asleep and my parents had signed it for me before leaving for work. I smiled knowing that it was form him. I opened the box and saw a huge rose bouquet, similar to those which he had sent me when I was still touring and he was trying to make a good impression. There was also a note.

So you won't forget me.
Love, Sid.

I picked up the bouquet and found a vase big enough for it. I was about to put the box away when I noticed that there was something more inside. It was a small blue box, but to make it very clear, it didn't look like a ring box. It was slightly bigger. When I opened it I had to remind myself to breath. How did he get this!? My goodness! It was the exact necklace that I had lost in Central Park the day I had first met him. My grandmother's necklace. He hadn't just had it custom made to look like it. It was the exact same piece. I knew it because of a small crack. In the small box was also another note.

I guess this belongs to you.
Love, Sid

And I also found bigger envelope from the bottom of the big box. I slowly opened it, still feeling astonished at the necklace.

Dear Netta,

I wanted to show you that I'm serious about us. I'm serious when I say that you can trust me. I want you to know that I would do anything for you and I hope that my gift showed you how much you mean to mean. Being far away from you is hard but it sure does beat being close with someone else. Now I want you to call this number so you can get my real gift. It's a selfish gift, but hope you'll like it anyways.
Love, Sid

I took my cell and dialed the number he had wrote down. For my surprise a travel agency answered. The lady told me that there was a reservation for me.

"Okay... What kind of a reservation?" I asked puzzled.

"You'll fly from Helsinki to New York on Monday." She said and tried to sound very professional though I could hear from her voice that she was quite curious.

"On Monday!" I almost screamed. I pitied her ear.

"Yes, on Monday. And there seems to be a message for you attached to your booking. Let me see..." I could hear her clicking the mouse and typing something.

"...Yes, here it is. You should not be worried about anything since there will be a personal physiotherapist waiting for you and a very talented doctor with lots of experience in sports injuries."

Oh wow! I guess I don't have to take this long distance shit much longer!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Chapter 19. I Think... I Have Crazy Brothers

I watched outside the plane window. We were about to land. Everything seemed so tiny and because winter was winning summer in their battle, everything was covered under a thin layer of white thing that I did not like. I was a summer person and snow represented everything I disliked; cold. When the plane touched the runway I sighed. So this was it. I was back home. Funny, I had pictured this very differently. Most importantly I had pictured this to happen on March. I knew my whole family would be waiting for me at the airport so I was mentally preparing myself to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy to see them, but still I wish I didn't have to, not yet. When everyone else got u to get their stuff from overhead lockers, I decided to stay on my seat. It always irritated me when a plane landed and every single person on the plane wanted to be the first person to get out. So instead of joining them, I stayed put and that way I also didn't have to face Finland just yet. See, I have a theory that if you're in an airplane your not in any country. You're in a neutral no man's land. Of course I couldn't stay there for ever. As I had expected, my whole family was there. Mom, dad, Nooa, Nilkas and Kayley, my grandmas and grandpas. Lot's of hugs and kisses and me and my brothers trying to make our mom stop crying was what usually happened at our airport reunions. This was no exception. My mother was having her "I got my baby back!" moment and we just had to leave as fast as possible to avoid any more weird glares at us. Last time someone, who said he was doctor, had asked whether she needed medical help. I was driving with my brothers and Kayley.

"I know you missed me a lot, but don't you think this is a bit too much. Just break your leg so you could finally see me." Nooa was teasing.

"Ha haa. That's very funny." I said and playfully hit his shoulder.

"Hey kids, knock it off!" Niklas who was driving said in that very authoritative big brother voice.

"Is it too early to ask about him?" Kayley asked and Niklas nearly drove off the road. See my brothers, especially Niklas, were really protective over me. I hadn't told them anything about Sidney, because he actually might have flown across the Atlantic to give Sidney "the talk". ANd luckily Kayley had kept the secret.

"I don't want him to go crazy, so of course I won't tell them anything." She had said on the phone.

"There's a he?" Niklas asked in shock. I noticed how Nooa was also really tensed next to me and demanding me to answer with his stare.

"Thanks Kay!" I laughed. She gave me a fake apologetic smile. I knew that there was no way out of telling my crazy brothers. They literally were crazy. My dad had joked that he didn't have to buy a gun to keep boys away from me since Niklas and Nooa were doing such a great job.

"So Tiny, (they called me that) who's this guy?" Nooa asked.

"Well, he's Canadian." I started carefully.

"He's a lot more than a Canadian." Kayley said and giggled at my discomfort.

"Seriously Kay! Shut up!" She just winked at me over her shoulder.

"Tiny, start talking." Niklas ordered.

"Well he's not a jerk. Isn't that all you want to know? I've heard you going on and on about how I should stay away from jerks. So you should be very pleased." I said.

"Tiny, I don't trust your judgment." Niklas said.

"I know a jerk when I see one." I said offensively. My brothers just burst into laugh.

"Yeah. And Kayley here is going to learn cross country skiing." Niklas said sarcastically.

"Never!" Kayley almost screamed. She had very strong opinions about cross country skiing. According to her she would never ever do it in her entire life, no matter how great exercise it was.

"That's what I thought." Niklas laughed. Then I did what I always did when I was younger and my brothers were teasing me. I pouted my lips and refused to talk to them after I had said "I don't like you!"

"If Tiny won't tell us anything, it's your job to inform us." Niklas said to his wife who was still thinking about cross country skiing.

"What, me? Babe, as much as I enjoy observing you and Nooa doing your big brother thing, I am a woman. And we women have to have each other's back. I'm not even going to tell you that he is someone you guys have been discussing about last summer. "

"Kay!" I sighed.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Nooa asked clearly irritated.

"I'm not telling anything." Kayley said but I could see she was thinking something more to say.

"Did you have good time in Pittsburgh?" She asked innocently. Okay, that was it. They would guess from that.

"Um... yeah." I muttered.

"Did you see him play?" She continued. What ever happened to "we women" speech? Well I guess I would have to tell them sooner or later. I'd rather do it later but Kayley clearly didn't like that idea.

We were in the middle of highway, but that didn't stop Niklas from braking really fast and pulling to the side. I was happy there wasn't a car just behind us or otherwise there would have been an accident.

"I don't think you are allowed to stop here." I said.

"Yeah, babe. If a police sees us here..." Kayley was also getting worried and she was eying the road behind us making sure there were no police cars near.

"Kayley, are you, in your very subtle way, trying to tell me that my sister is involved with some a hockey player?" Niklas asked his wife.

"Niklas, don't get upset. He seems to be a very nice guy." Kayley said and tapped gently his arm. My brothers snorted almost in unison. It was time to open my mouth and say something.

"Guys, he really is. He's good to me. He's sweet and gentle. He would never hurt me. And I'm not being naive like with...Daniel. He really is. I'm finally over Daniel. It's a good thing, right? Didn't you always say that I should be with someone who's worthy of me. He is. And if you'd meet him, you'd agree. I think you would like him, cause he doesn't go easy on me." I noticed how Niklas was looking at me with really weird eyes. I couldn't read his expression. Neither Nooa's.

"Are you in love?" Niklas asked. His voice was both worried and curious.

"It's too early for that." I mumbled selfconsciously.

"Tiny, if he breaks your heart, you know we got your back." Nooa said softly. And with those words they were telling me that it was okay, well maybe okay but almost okay.

"I wonder what would Sidney say if he knew how crazy this dudes are." I guess Kayley thought that it was time to tell them the last part of this secret.

I'm glad that the car was not moving. Niklas would most like have flipped the car around.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Chapter 18. I Think...I Saw This Coming

It was both great and not so great to be back with the girls. It was great because now I was able to witness all the crazy stuff that happened every time Filippa was somewhere. But it also meant being away from Sidney. We talked on the phone everyday but it wasn't enough. Funny that earlier it was more than enough. Now just hearing his voice made me want to drive to airport and buy a ticket to a place where he was playing. Of course I didn't do that. Not being with Sidney wasn't the only not so great thing. I just had to watch when others danced. My whole body wanted to move with them. Unfortunately my knee wasn't any better. I might have gone too far with my exercises because the knee was swollen and I had to use crutches once again. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I would most likely need a surgery. That thought made me irritated and I even snapped at Filippa couple of times and even at Sidney on the phone.

"I'm sorry. I'm just really upset about my knee." I murmured on the phone. He just chuckled.

"It's alright. Is worse than yesterday?"

"Yep. Like hundred times worse. I had to take those really strong painkillers. They make me really tired." I said and yawned.

"Have you seen a doctor?" He asked and I bet he knew that me seeing a doctor would mean surgery.

"Not yet." I sighed.

"You know you have to, sooner or later."

"I know, I know. I'm just waiting for a while if the exercises would work and the ice bags."

"Nets, you have to see a doctor. Otherwise they might have to cut the whole thing off." He said in very serious tone though he was joking.

"Okay, I will! Let's talk about something less depressing. How was your day?"

"We won." He told me though he knew I knew that.

"Old news." I laughed.

"Did you know that Jordan's just calling Filippa?" He asked.

"Oh that's why she's in the lobby." I laughed. "I thought she was hitting on that cute reception guy."

"Cute, huh?" Was he jealous? That thought made me smile.

"Not as cute as you." I laughed.

"That's my girl." He laughed back.

"You know I really like you?"

"I like you too. I think you're my favorite person." He said. I was picturing myself in his arms on his couch. I sighed and he heard it.



"Are you okay?" He sounded concerned.

"This is stupid. Not being there with, it's lame."

"I know." He sighed too. "You know what I would do if you were here?" He asked and I could here from his voice that he had that cute flirty smile on his face.

"Tell me." I smiled.

"I would kiss you really hard."

"Oh, dirty talking." I laughed.

"And then I would just keep kissing you." He continued.

"I'd like that."

The next day at the doctor's office I heard what I didn't want to hear. Me injury required a surgery. Shit!

"So?" Victoria asked both hopefully and concerned. She had come to the doctor with me. I just shook me head in frustration.

"Surgery?" She wanted to make sure though everything in me was screaming it.

"Yep." I said and then I used every possible curse word I knew in Finnish, Swedish and English.

"Okay. Nu måste vi ringa till Erik och Mariella." (Now we have to call Erik and Mariella) She said. Erik and Mariella were our producers. They didn't travel with us but stayed in Stockholm. We both knew what that meant. They would order me to fly back home. I was only wasting their money now that I wasn't dancing. Besides the insurance company wouldn't pay my surgery here. Only in Finland. She put her around my shoulders trying to make me feel better.

"Jag måste gå hem." (I have to go home) I sighed. I wish I could cry but since the waiting room was full of people I just swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Come on. Let's get a cap and go back to hotel."

Our ride back to the hotel was quiet. Victoria had promised to make the call and now she was explaining the situation to Erik. I didn't bother to listen to their conversation. I was too caught up on the thought of being on the different continent than Sidney. Wow, this was it. This was what I've been afraid of. This was the reason why I hadn't gone to see the doctor earlier. I had known this all along. But facing the truth was awful. There would be that crazy time difference so we just couldn't call each other so easily. There would be a stupid ocean between us.

Victoria put her phone back to her purse. She looked sad.

"He's getting a ticket for you to Helsinki." She sighed. I knew she wasn't telling me everything. Well she wasn't telling me when I'd be flying. She read me thoughts.

"Tomorrow morning."



The girls waited for us at hotel. From our expressions they understood what was going on. Victoria told everybody what Erik had said on the phone and when she told that he was getting me a ticket on the morning flight they sighed and Filippa almost burst into tears. People around us were gave us strange looks when the girls gave me a group hug. Gosh, I was going to miss them.

I tried to eat something but I couldn't. I was anxiously waiting for the call I had to make. I had to tell him that I was leaving the country. Leaving the continent, damn it! Losing my appetite wasn't the only thing that was bothering me. Me leg was practically killing me. I think it was more psychosomatic than real pain caused by my injury. When I knew that his ice practice would finally be over I took my cell and pressed his number. He picked up pretty quickly. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello.

"I'm leaving." After saying that I turned on the waterworks.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Chapter 17. I Think...I Already Miss Him

Those three days I spent in Pittsburgh were gone too fast. He had to go on the road and it was time for me to fly to Edmonton where the girls were performing tonight. We were at the airport and he was holding my tightly against him.

"The second you land call me." He said and I nodded.

"I will." I whispered.

We were just staring at each others' eyes and we both understood how our lives at that moment seemed too crazy. If we would have just been two ordinary people, I wouldn't have to get on that plane and he wouldn't have to leave with his team. We could just stay here and be together. Instead we had to be apart. We hadn't talked about this part of our relationship. I guess we didn't even want to talk about it. It was too depressing, after all this "thing" was so fresh and new. I guess we were afraid of the separation. At least I was. I didn't want this . It was awful. But something that I couldn't change.

"I don't want you to go." He said and hugged me almost too hard.

"I don't want to go." I answered and my voice was too shaky for me to control.

Sidney smiled at me. He seemed to find this somehow amusing.

"Just think how you, couple days ago, wanted to leave." He teased me.

"Keep teasing me and I really want to leave." I laughed. Time was moving too fast because I really had to go trough the security check. We kissed goodbye, and I thought how it was only our 5th kiss so far. I really would have wanted more.

As I was walking away I heard him saying:

"I was right about that ass of yours."

I didn't turn back. Just smiled and pretended to be angry. So I lifted my other hand and showed him the rude finger.

"F you Crosby!" As I had said that I heard him chuckle.

On the flight I had time to really think about us. It was still funny to say "us". We weren't just him and me, we were us. What was "us" going to do to somehow handle this long distance relationship. I really wanted that this would develop into something. Something meaningful and lasting. Oh boy, how I already started to miss him. I had only bad experience on long distance relationships. As case Daniel had taught me it was impossible to know what the other one was doing. He might start to feel completely different. Or, in worst case scenario, he might find someone else. That thought gave me shivers. What if he would found someone else? He was not a cheater but what if his feelings for me would slowly fade away and after some time he would find someone who could easily fill my place. Oh crap! I hated this. I hated feeling so insecure. I knew his feelings were genuine and I was sure he was being honest in every way. But time was a bitch. And distance relationship was even a bitchier bitch. Everything could change. I knew it too well. Funny how a guy like Daniel could still affect on my love life though he was no part of it. One thing that was sure was that I was not going to do the same mistake I did with him. I would know if something was wrong. You know there's no fire without smoke. And with Daniel I didn't see the smoke, or to be quite honest, I didn't want to see it though it was suffocating me. This time I would fight for this, not let it fade away. And the first thing I did when we landed was I called him and told him that.

I got a cap and drove to the hotel were rest of the girls were staying. Well by no they would have already left for the tonight's show. I took me suitcase to the room which was already full of Filippa's stuff. The room really didn't look like a hotel room, it was a place which looked like it had been hit by a tornado. I tried to clean it up a bit but I knew better not to go too far since though it looked like a total chaos there actually was some kind of order, and if I would mess that up, Filippa would be pissed. I watched TV because I didn't want to go to watch the show. I tried to stay awake so when the girls would get back I would be prepared. But of course lying there on my bed, I became so sleepy that my eyes just refused to stay open anymore. Couple hours later I woke up when someone jumped on my bed.

"Tell me everything!" Filippa screamed and suddenly the room was filled with girls in very strong make up. Apparently they were in such a hurry that they didn't even have time to wash their faces after the show.

"Wow guys! Just calm down." I laughed.

"We are not going to calm down before you tell us everything! The second the curtains were closed we ran like crazy people to get taxis so we could finally see you!" Oona explained. She was still in her costume.

"Ooh you guys. It's nice to see you too." I smiled. They all looked irritated.

"Shut up already and tell us about you and the future hubby of yours." Victoria said.

"Okay. Um... We are together." I said.


"Nothing else. We are together and that's it." They all looked quite disappointed since there was no juicy story.

"I bet you freaked out." Oona said. I was glad Filippa and Victoria got my back because they changed the subject.

"I bet he is a good kisser." Filippa smiled. I blushed.

"That good?" Victoria laughed. And after that they never stopped teasing me about my good kisser boyfriend.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Chapter 16. I Think... It's Time to Be Brave

Theme song: Brave (Jennifer Lopez)

The game went well. They won so no sour face tonight. Someone on the team was having a small party at his house and we were going. I was quite starstruck so I still had no idea where we were going. I saw all his team mates and they came to say hi to me. Seeing all of them (shirtless) got me speechless. I still had no idea what Sidney was talking about, I just sat on the front seat of his car going "OMG!" on my mind.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Sidney laughed when I finally came back to earth.


He just laughed. Boy, I love that laugh.

"I was just telling you how all the guys are giving me heart time because of you."

"They are?" I asked surprised. They had behaved really well when I had been there. They were just polite.

"Oh yeah." He kept laughing. "Especially since Jordan told everybody about us. Of course it wasn't really realistic, I mean all the little details he added to spice up the story. But that's all they talk now."

"Oh. What do they talk about us?" I asked smiling and thinking about Jordan's story, which most likely was the same one Filippa had come up with. She called it This century's love story.

"They are just teasing. You know this is pretty rare situation."

"I still can't believe you have never, I mean never ever, been in a relationship." I sighed.

"I've been with girls but never in relationship." He said though I knew all that. We had many deep and meaningful conversations on the phone.




He shrugged before he said what was on his mind.

"Is this a relationship? I mean, really a relationship. Not just..." He kept his eyes strictly on the road.

This time pushed my growing feeling of fear of being close to someone, away and smiled.

"I don't know, Sid. What do you think?" I asked and glanced at his profile. I saw how he was smiling too.

"I sure do hope this is, and if it's not, then I want to turn it into it." He said. A wave of happiness washed over me.

"Okay." And that's when I knew, just listening my own voice, that I was falling. I was done being afraid, done building a wall around me. He wanted me! He wanted to be with me though he knew I was a crazy person. It was pure insanity but I wanted to take this leap and jump over the edge.

"Okay." He said as sealing the deal. We were slowing down, because he was looking for a spot to park.

"So whose party..."

He burst into laughter.

"Fleury's. You know the goalie..."

"I know him, silly."

"Yeah good." He laughed.

The house was also huge just like Sidney's. And cool cars were parked outside. I guess boys will be boys and have their toys, especially when a boy has enough money for the rest of his life. Sidney rang the doorbell and in a moment young woman with brown hair and big smile came to open the door.

"Hi guys!" She greeted us with a French accent. Sidney gave her a hug and introduced us.

"Vero this Netta and Netta this is Veronique, Fleury's girlfriend."

"Hi! Nice to meet you." I said and we shook hands.

"Please come on in. There's some food and beverages in the kitchen and feel free to make yourselves at home."

I loved their house. You could instantly see that it was not just a house, it was a home. I bet that all the credit belonged to Vero. I hoped that Sidney would also pay more attention to his house so it would not be just a great luxurious house, but a home.

"I love your house. It's really beautiful." I told her as we were following her to the living room.

"Thank you. I love this house too." She smiled.

The living room was packed with Sidney's team mates and their spouses. They looked curious when we stepped in. I became very selfconscious and I felt like hiding behind Sidney and Vero.

"Look who finally showed up!" Jordan said and smiled warmly at me.

"Hi everyone! This is Netta and Netta meet everyone." Sidney said and everyone said or waved hello at me.

Wow, this was awkward. They were all looking at me and trying to figure me out. Max Talbot came to us and other people returned their conversations.

"So Netta, has Sidney been a good boy?" He said and winked. I laughed. We had already met at the arena and he made me relax especially now with his shirt on. He was really funny and easy going guy.

"He has." I said and I heard Sidney chuckle.

"It's great that you guys finally sorted things out. We were little worried about him since he just suddenly disappeared and then Fleury got a message from Montreal. As our captain he needs to be focused, you help him focus, right?" He asked with a teasing smile.

"I'll do my best." I laughed.

"Max, is Claire, no no, Annie... um Sonya here? I mean since your so focused nowadays." Sidney teased back.

"Yes, Crosby, I am focused. And I'm focused on that extremely lovely redhead over there talking to Geno's girlfriend. Her name is Samantha. I met her couple days ago at the airport."

Max waved at the redhead who gave him a sweet smile. She didn't look like the kind of girl that would suit Max's reputation. She was a girl next door very innocent and shy, beautiful though. She was very petite and looked like she didn't belong in this world next to Geno's drop dead gorgeous blond girlfriend. I wondered how others saw me. Was I also outsider in my plain but very comfortable clothes?

"Well good luck bro. I guess it's needless to remind you not to play with her." Sidney said and from the look on his face he was probably thinking why on earth had Max asked her out.

"I'm nothing but a gentleman. Netta, don't believe the rumors. I'm not a player." Max said and that caused Sidney to chuckle some more.

"Yeah. He's not a player." He laughed and shook his head.

The food was divine. Vero had ordered it from a deli in downtown. One thing that surprised me was the fact that there was not much alcohol, it was a party after all. Just couple beers but nothing else. Sidney said that it was because of they had to be in best condition in tomorrow's game. For me it wasn't a big deal though. I never drank myself drunk since I hated being drunk. In high school I had gotten wasted and made a total ass out of myself, and since then I had never been drunk. Besides my hangovers were not worth it. Every time I had been sure that I would die. I was just getting a class of Mountain Dew when Jordan came to me.

"How's Filippa doing?" He asked.

"She's in Vancouver. I think she said something about being full of the Olympics just after two days. And the only thing related to Olympics she's seen are the banners and flags in the streets." I smiled. Jordan laughed.

"She's so funny. I think I have to give her a call sometimes."

"I think she'd like that." I said knowing that there was nothing romantic going between two of them. Filippa had made it very clear by saying that Jordan would be a wonderful husband candidate except he's not a dark stranger, interested in ballroom dancing nor an investment banker. And Filippa's future husband should have at least one of those qualities, preferably all of them. Filippa was one of those people who loved to be surrounded by people and she constantly tried to make new friends. And Jordan was one of those "I need to be his friend" people, as Filippa called everyone who interested her.

"I heard you injured your leg." He said and genuinely looked sorry.

"Yeah. ACL. But it's getting better. I don't need to walk with crutches anymore." I said.

"Well maybe there's something good in that injury too. I mean you came hear, right."

That really stayed on my mind. If I hadn't got injured I would be in Vancouver dancing, which of course would be wonderful, but being here was, I had to admit, even better. I would still be living in that fear of being close to someone. I would not be able to be kissed by Sidney the way he kissed me. I don't know how he did it but he made me feel like I was slowly disappearing from this world when he kissed me. He made me forget everything around me. Sometimes he had to remind me to breathe. I would still be living that pathetic little life on mine if I hadn't got injured.

Sidney was talking with a small group on the other side of the room and I observed him. I couldn't believe this. That man had turned my life around and he really cared about me. I guess he sensed me staring because he turned to my way and smiled. And I smiled back. Once again he made the whole room disappear. It was just us, looking at each other. I wished I could have walked across the room and just kissed him, but I was too shy to do it. But that's exactly what he did. He came to me and pulled me into his arms. Oh, his kiss. It took my breath away and I could barely stand on my feet. Luckily he was holding me so tightly that I didn't even have to. I heard how people were whistling and Vero even sighed "Oh". People were staring at us but I didn't care. I loved this! I loved him kissing me. I loved it that he didn't care that people were looking. I loved... No! It was too early even to think about that!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Chapter 15. I Think...It's Finally Time to Say Goodbye to Danny Boy


I'm so happy to have a new follower! Thank you so much for your comment! I'd love to hear from you again. And if anyone has ideas or just comments, I'd be thrilled to read them. But now here's the new chapter:

My doctor had given me instruction how to exercise my injured leg without damaging the knee completely. Quad atrophy, as the doctor called it, might make it difficult for me to gain back the strength to my leg. That's why it was important to do the exercises regularly so the quadriceps muscle wouldn't start to weaken. Sidney was at the practice. His coach wasn't happy about last night's loss so he came up with extra morning practice to get the team back in shape. I was sitting on his bed and doing knee extensions with a phone book. It felt pretty ridiculous, since I was pretty flexible and now having my heel just couple inches above the bed was a huge accomplishment. After that I did 3 other types of exercises that for some reason were very exhausting for a professional dancer who could do really though routines night after night. After I had decided I had exercised enough I got up and for the first time in many days I started walking without crutches. I laughed at myself because it took forever for me to reach the stairs. The knee still hurt but it was normal, and the doctor had said that the best thing was to move it Little pain was ok but the doctor told me to take it easy, not to push too hard. I finally got downstairs in time to see how Sidney just parked his car. Judging by his body language he was in good mood. I was right. When he stepped in he smiled widely.

"Well, hello there." He said and came to give me a kiss. How weird is this! I can just kiss him.

"Hello to yourself. What's going on Mr sunshine?" Before he answered he crabbed me in his arms and carried me to kitchen. He lifted me on the counter.

"Okay. Now that I'm safely here in the kitchen, would you like to tell me why you're so smiley?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm happy." He simply stated.

He looked genuinely happy, like a little kid on Christmas day.

"I'm happy your happy." I smiled.

"I'm happy that your happy," he mumbled into my ear and kissed my neck the way that I felt shivers go trough my body.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I love your neck." he whispered. I giggled because his lips were tickling my skin.

"You have to stop! You're tickling me." I laughed and tried to push him away, but his hands tightened around me.

After we had eaten all the Chinese food we ordered we were just relaxing on his couch.

"Tell me everything I don't know about you," Sidney said.

"You don't have that much time. You have to leave in 45 minutes," I laughed.

"Tell me something. I've already told you about my family so now it's your turn."

"What do you want to know?" I asked. He looked like he was thinking really hard.

"I want to know your... favorite movie."

"My favorite movie... Schindler's List."

"Okay. Favorite singer slash band?"

"You know this. Nikka Costa."

"Your favorite food."

"You know this too. Thai food."

"You're first boyfriend?" I gave him a warning look.

"Jonas." I said. I was going to make sure that he had to dig really hard to get any information on this subject.


"Yeah Jonas." I smiled.

"So this Jonas dude, is he big. Can I beat him?" I can't believe it, but it seriously looked like he was seriously asking that. I had to tease him!

"I don't know, he is quite big." I giggled inside because he was getting a bit upset.

"But you have your team so that's an advantage, right. They can help you." I couldn't say it with a straight face.

"You're teasing me." He said and smiled.

"Oh yeah! Jonas was my "boyfriend" when we were 9 and only because I told him that if he wouldn't be my boyfriend my brothers would beat him up. So he had to be my boyfriend out of fear."

"Well tell me about your last boyfriend then." This was something I really didn't want to talk about. He was something I didn't want to talk about. It still hurt. But for some reason Sidney's eyes were so convincing that I just had to open my heart to him. I will always remember that moment.

"We met in high school. He was a year older than me. I fell for him hard and really fast. And I guess he did too. It was so ridiculous that even my parents said I couldn't see him anymore. He was like heroin to me. I was a straight "A" student but after I started being with him every second my grades weren't the only thing my parents were worried about. But when he graduated he started his studies in university and he really changed. Suddenly he was welcomed to my house and he even went fishing with my dad. And that's something just anyone won't get to do. Fishing is sacred for my dad. But anyways, I didn't see any faults in him. He was like this creature from heaven. I gave my heart to him and I was stupid enough to think he did the same. He was love of my life. Everything went just fine then. I missed him like crazy when he was away in uni but when he came home on holidays everything was amazing. He was so loving and caring. When I graduated I got a job in a dance school and the producers of Movemental spotted me then. They wanted me to go to Stockholm to audition. And of course I went. When I got back home I got one phone call and one text message. They called from Sweden that I had gotten the job and he texted me that it was time for him to start seeing other people, and that we both new that this high school love affair was just holding us down." I took a deep breath before continuing. I felt my heart once again aching. "I called him of course. He just said that I was a nice girl but nothing more to him. So that's how Daniel broke up with me." I was reliving that phone call in my mind, hearing his indifferent voice and my own sobbing.

"Netta." Sidney whispered. I looked at him and he probably saw the pain in my eyes.

"Yeah?" He took my hands and placed them on his chest then he crabbed my shoulders.

"I will never break your heart." I looked at him and tears started rolling again.

"Thank you. I don't think my heart could take another hit like that."

"Netta, I'm nothing like him. You can always trust me." He was really serious.

"I trust you." I said to him and for the first time I really believed that Daniel hadn't ruined my life completely.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Chapter 14. I Think...Sometimes You Just Need A Girl Talk

After I had calmed down he was thoughtful enough to give me my space. He didn't try to have any more nerve wrecking talks about our feelings for each other or other crap like that. He was back being just the great guy whom I really liked. He was funny and goofy and I really enjoyed my time with him as he was being my personal tour guide. I once had told him that every time I go to a new city I want to visit a modern art museum. I don't particularly like modern art. I just find it so strange that I might just stare at one piece for hours. So of course he took me to a modern art museum, The Mattress Factory. I think Sidney was enjoying himself because he realized how much fun I had. Especially the stroll we took around the downtown got me laughing so hard that people probably thought I was mentally challenged.

"I never knew Pittsburgh was such a nice place." I said to him as we were eating our lunch at a Middle eastern restaurant.

"Everybody says that. Even I did." He said. He had just finished his kebab.

"So you like living here?"

"Yeah. I've grown to love this place. It's my home."

I was glad that people didn't come to talk with him though they obviously knew exactly who he was. When we had arrived at the restaurant every female had sighed and all the guys gave a curious look towards him. I think I would have felt really uncomfortable having teenage fans drooling over him just from couple feet away. Because I know how teen girls when it comes to being an obsessive fan. I had my Backstreet Boys obsession phase but luckily it passed.

"Lucky you. I often feel homeless." I sighed. He lifted his eyebrows.

"Why?" That I liked about him. When he listened he really did. He gave all his attention to you.

"Um. I guess it's pretty normal when you grow up all over the world and live all over the world. I mean I can't really say that Helsinki is my home nor is Sydney. I have this constant need of moving around and somehow the thought of staying in one place for a long time scares me... a lot."

"Do you miss Australia?"

"Yes. I really do. I miss how everything was so relaxed. The sun and the people. Everything basically. In a way it was a total opposite to Finland. And me and my brothers had to adjust. They turned out much better though. They are quite sane actually."

"Go figure." He laughed.

"I know!"

After the lunch we headed back to Sidney's place. He had to take his pregame nap. Which meant that I had couple hours alone time. And that basically meant I spoke the entire time on the phone with Fippa who was, in her own words, going crazy without my weirdness. She demanded to know everything but of course she got told only necessary things, like how lovely his house was and how he had took me to see some really weird modern art.

"See Nets! That's exactly what I meant when I say that we are missing all the weird stuff now that you're gone. I mean you're not here dragging us to see some naked guy having a conversation with some magical green bunny/salmon."

"You still haven't get over Tokyo haven't you?" I laughed.

"That naked guy with his supernatural animal friend comes to my dreams occasionally, thanks to you."

"I know! I had him in my dream couple weeks ago. I forgot to tell you about it."

"I don't want to hear about the naked guy, unless..."

"Don't go there, Fipps!" I warned her. She had a sick imagination and even bigger mouth.

"I was just wondering..." she teased me.

"Well, you can keep wondering. Cause it's not going to happen."


"Seriously. How's Vancouver?" I tried to change the subject.

"Everything's about the Olympics. I'm getting so bored of this conversation and it hasn't even started yet. Can we please go back to your and Mr. C's love affair? Besides Vicky is really giving me hard time since you're not passing enough info to satisfy her. So weirdo, give me something juicy."

"Ok, Fippa, you're really testing my patience. I already told you everything you need to know." I laughed at my friends eagerness to hear some juicy details. She was so funny. You should hear her voice.

"Yes. But you haven't told me what I want to know. So keep on talking."

"What do you want to know?"

"Is he a good kisser? That would be a start."

"We haven't kissed."

"Alright, miss liar."

I rolled my eyes when I heard that she whispered my answer to someone right next to her.

"Fipps, you can tell Vicky that it's the truth." There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then I heard how Vicky wanted to have Filippa's cell so she could talk to me. But Filippa, as I figured out, wasn't done talking.

"Netsie baby, here's an evil Swedish woman who's is trying to steal my cell, so forgive me, OUCH! if this doesn't make sense anymore."

I was picturing two of them fighting and it make my giggle.

"Hey girls just in case you haven't killed each others yet, you could turn the speaker on." I swear it didn't take longer that two second for them do it.

"Are you seriously telling me you guys haven't kissed. Honey, we saw how you two look at each other. Please don't tell me you are trying to sabotage this thing?" This time it was Vicky who was talking. She kind of knew my issues with being close to someone.

"I'm not sabotaging anything." I knew that those two girls would immediately hear I was lying. Damn they knew me too well.

"Netta what did you do?" Vicky asked. I could hear from her voice that she was worried.

"Nothing unusual." I sighed.

"Did you push him away?" Filippa asked all serious now.

"What makes you think that?" I asked monotonically.

"The fact that you do that every time." They replied simultaneously.

"I don't." I tried. Even I thought that was quite pathetic. It was like lying about sun being hot.

"We have evidence. Netta, you have to apologize. Don't mess this thing. We won't let you do it. He is too perfect for you. We might have let you do this before but only because those guys, especially that creepy personal trainer, weren't good for you anyways. But we know how Sidney makes you feel. And he is a good guy. He flew to Montreal to see you in a hospital, for crying out lout."

"I know."

"Say you're sorry. And talk to him. Please."

"I think about it." I was not going to promise anything. It was too big a promise. Way too big.

The night's game wasn't really a good game. The Senators won. Disappointed fans slowly left home. I stayed for a while, though we had decided that it would be best if I left right after the game so I didn't have to wait for Sidney. I knew that my taxi was probably waiting for me outside the arena, but for some reason the empty arena was quite mesmerizing. This was his kingdom. Despite of the loss, everyone here believed in him. Must be surreal, I thought. Thousands of people watching your every move and giving you huge pressure but also huge support. I think this place gave him the same kind of high as dancing gave me. Finally I decided to leave. Everyone else were already gone. I knew I had to talk to him. He had said that hard things were usually worth having. This was hard so I prayed that it was also worth having.

I was watching some lame sitcom when he finally came home. He barely said hi. He just sat next to me and stared at the tv.

"This show is garbage." He murmured.

"I know." I replied. He was so upset over the loss. I've never seen him like that before. His eyes weren't full of spark and he didn't come up with some funny stuff he usually did.

We still kept watching it sighing every time the audience started to laugh. I couldn't take it any longer. It was too depressing.

"It wasn't your fault." I began.

"Of course it was. I'm the captain. I should lead my team."

"You did your part." I sighed. I realized it was useless. This post loss depression (as my brother called it) was just something he had to go trough and maybe it was best if I didn't try to to do anything about it. I just might make it worse.

"We have a thing in common." I smiled.


"We're bad losers."

"You're a bad loser?" He asked and though his eyes were still full of disappointment I could hear from his voice that he was interested.

"I had to quit tennis because mom and dad refused to buy me new tennis rackets after those 10 I broke because I lost."

He smiled slightly, but the smile faded.

"I'm sorry you had to see that game." He sighed. I squeezed his hand.

"Don't worry about it. You don't have to prove me anything. I've seen pictures of you and the Stanley cup. I know you're an amazing player and leader. One game won't change that."


I knew this wouldn't be a good moment for me to apologize about my craziness. His mind was still on the game. But somehow I just couldn't stay silent anymore. I had thought about it during the whole game and the time before he came home.

"Sidney, I'm really sorry." I whispered. It took all my courage to say those words.

At first it looked like he didn't even hear what I had said. But after a while he looked confused.

"You're sorry? About what?"

"About how crazy I am." I was trying to find words to continue but it wasn't easy because they somehow were stuck inside me.

"I'm sorry I didn't treat you nicely this morning. I was just so afraid. I still am, but I don't want you to think it has anything to to with you. And you were right. I was injured pretty badly by a guy. And it's still affecting on me. I'm over him but not over all the things he created because of his selfishness. And I feel awful because I treated you really badly though you've only been good to me." I was out of breath. I've never exposed myself like that. I warily looked into his eyes. I couldn't read his expression. Maybe he was angry at me talking about this now when he was so upset already. That made me feel restless.

"Anyway, I hope you'll forgive me."

He kept looking at me. And for my huge relief his eyes were gentle.

"You're forgiven." He whispered and he gently kissed my lips. I'd never been kissed like that. It was like he consider me to be so valuable yet fragile that he had to gentle not to brake me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Chapter 13. I Think...I've Had My Share of Drama

You might think that that night would have ended in very romantic chic flick kind of way. Epic kiss and stuff. But no. He just showed me the guest room. And we said good night. That was my over the top romantic night. It was impossible to sleep, though his guest bed was amazing. It was like sleeping on a cloud. He was on my mind. His eyes mainly. The way they looked at me like they were seeing trough me. The thought gave me shivers. I was terrified to be honest. I had never ever met anyone who had the same abilities as he had. At 3 AM I had to get up. I just needed to get out of that bed and walk and get him out of my system. I tip toed because I didn't want him to wake up. I went to his kitchen to get some water. When I was leaning against the counter I realized I had to get away from him. He was too much. Way too much. I would only get hurt. But I also realized that it was 3 AM and there was really no way to leave now. I didn't now the city and would be just pure insanity to go outside at this hour. And besides where could I go? I knew nobody except him. I sighed in frustration. Then a thought came to mind. A thought which I quickly tried to forget. But it still kept coming back over and over again. Maybe I'm a coward.

"I'm not." I said out loud.

I was pissed off. This inner dialog was so annoying. I was not a coward. I just don't trust my heart. It took a long time to gather its pieces couple years ago so it still might not work properly. I was not going to do it again. I had decided it more than ten times when I had been crying my eyes out because of "the love of my life". Love was overrated. It only made you lonely and left you in agony. So love was a big no no. But I liked Sidney. He was a great guy and I needed him to be my friend.

"We'll be friends." I whispered and I already felt so much better. Relieved.

Next morning I woke up feeling so tired. My night time inner dialog had stolen my precious sleeping time. I tried to cover the black circles around my eyes but I didn't success because when Sidney saw me he looked worried.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah sure." I put my perfect show smile on. He just rolled his eyes.

"Well, sunshine, eat your breakfast."

He had set the table and there were at least 5 type of cereals and yogurts.

"Did you have all these even you were away? I mean this milk is ok, right?" I was skeptic.

"I have someone who takes care of my house when I'm away and she also buys groceries for me."

"Oh. I forgot that you have enough money to hire a nanny. Does she also change your diapers?" I teased him.

"Just eat your toast and shut up." He laughed.

This wasn't hard. Despite couple intimidating looks he gave me, everything was really great. Just two friends hanging and eating breakfast.

"So Crosby, what are we doing today?" I asked genuinely excited.

"I had couple things on my mind." he said and smiled mysteriously. Oh no. He gave me one of his looks. I tried to concentrate on my toast. Suddenly he was really serious.

"Netta, I think we need to talk." I looked at him. Please no more talks.

"Last night." He continued.

"Yeah, about that. Everything is fine." I tried to assure him.

He chuckled.

"Somehow it's hard to believe because you're looking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like a panda."

"I'm seriously fine. Everything's just fine. Great. Wonderful. Awesome even. Are you satisfied or do I have to come up with more adjectives?"

"You know what, you're most likely the worst lier I've ever met." he said and somehow managed to move my chair the way that he was able to kneel in front of me.

"Sidney. Please don't make a big deal out of this. I really like you to be my friend and I'm..."

"You want me to be your friend?" He looked puzzled and maybe disappointed. For a second we were completely silent and just stared at each other. Then happened something I would never had expected. He got mad.

"Ok Nets.Just tell me how do you think that's gonna happen, huh? You keep sending me signals and then you just do that! I don't want to be your friend."

"You don't?" I felt a huge lump in my throat.

"You're not listening. Being friends isn't enough."

I felt how tears started to roll down my cheeks. I tried to stand up, but Sidney instantly pulled me down. He tried to calm down but his voice was still pretty tense.

"Netta, what you're doing is ridiculous. We both no it. Please look at me."

"I can't."

"Ok, but you have to admit that there is something going on between us. And don't you dare to call me your friend. Because I can't be that."

"Why?" I felt horrible. I was mentally packing my bags so I could storm out as fast as possible when this torture was over.

"Because." He was so intense that it scared me. And I couldn't get away because I was trapped on my chair because he was making sure I could not get up.

"Do you always run away?" He asked and now his voice had normal gentle tone back which he had when he spoke to me.

"I don't run away." I said avoiding his eyes. He was right. When things get hard I run. Like a scared dog with its tail between legs. I'm not good with situations.

"Tell me about him." He said quietly.

"About who?" I was confused.

"About the guy who broke your hart."


"You act like you have made somekind of a deal with yourself never to let anyone close to you. SO who did this to you."

Now it was my time to get angry. This was none of his business. How dared he speak to me like that.

"It's not your business." I heard myself scream. "You better let me go now. And do me a favor, call some airline. I need a ticket."

"Calm down." He said and the way he said it pissed me off. It was like he was talking to a child.

"I'm not going to calm down. You crossed a line. It is not your business. And even if it was true, I don't need a shrink. And if I needed one it certainly would not be you!" The more upset I got more calmer he looked. That jerk!

"If your not going to calm down soon I think that vein on your forehead is going to explode." He tried to be funny.

"I don't want to be near you! You do this thing to me. I'm not me when I'm with you! So let me get up. Right now!"

"And you want to be friends? When I have this "power" over you." He looked like he had won which made me so angry that I almost slapped him.

"You bastard. You're enjoying yourself." I hissed under my breath.

"Honey, calm down." He said and gently touched my cheek. I immediately pushed his hand away.

"I'm not your honey." I whispered.

For some reason I was really exhausted. This was so overwhelming. I hated conflicts. And especially this one felt awful. Maybe because he didn't do what people normally let me do. He didn't let me run. He made me face this thing though it was the last thing I wanted.

"I don't want to yell anymore." I whispered.

"Good." He smiled.

"But don't think it's because you're right. I'm just too tired to do it. I'm tired of this." I was too tired even to stop him from pulling me from the chair and hugging me so tightly that it was hard to breath.

"If I ever meet that guy, I'm going to beat the grab out of him."

"I'd like that." I whispered.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Chapter 12. I Think...I Want to Win This Battle

I could literally hear Frank Sinatra singing Fly me to the moon. The night was so beautiful that it almost took my breath away.

"Sid, this is so crazy." I whispered afraid that all the stars would magically disappear if I spoke loudly. He nodded and took my hand and pulled me with him. We leaned against the balcony railing.

"How can it be so beautiful?" I sighed. "The night sky I mean."

"When you talked about your hotel balcony on the phone I really wanted to show you mine." He smiled.

"This is like perfect Romeo and Juliet balcony." I was thinking out loud. I heard him laugh quietly.

"I've never thought about that." He said and we both laughed. It was weird hearing our voices in unison. It felt wonderful but after a moment it scared me. It was like our voices belonged together. I know it sounds weird. I am a total weirdo and it's all his fault. Why do I have to keep convincing everybody including me that I haven't lost my mind because this random guy I met in New York.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"Um... yeah. Why are you asking?"

"I don't know... Minute ago you were all happy and relaxed and suddenly you're really tense." His perspicacity surprised me. I was usually pretty good in hiding my feeling from other people.

I was going to lie. I even had a perfect lie on my mind. Something about being tired and worried about my injury... But for some reason my lips refused obey my brain.

"I'm freaking out." I heard myself saying. What! Shut up stupid mouth. Now I should explain that to him.

"You are?" he was really calm. This was so unfair.

"Yep." I prayed that he would be satisfied with that short three letter answer but I guess God was not listening right now.


I kept my eyes away from his. I looked everywhere else. His shoes, his hands, the railing and even my own shoes.

"Um... I don't know." I tried, but no.

"Netta, seriously. You're not getting off the hook before you tell me." I could feel his eyes on me. Damn, I was in trouble.

"You know what... It's getting late. Maybe we should continue this conversation tomorrow." Or never I added in my mind. I started to go towards the door.

"Netta." his voice was so firm that it made me stop.

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me." he said and to add credibility he placed himself between the door and me. I felt my heart rate rising. Maybe heart attack could safe me from this. But no heart attack, just shaky hands. And panic attack.

"I-I-I don't want to talk about it." I stuttered. He was not giving up, instead he crossed his arms to his chest. It was like he was ready for a battle. Well if he wanted a battle he was going to get one. I was determined not to tell him anything.

"I'm not going to talk about it." I said with fake firmness. I guess I wasn't really convincing. He had a arrogant smirk on his face. "

Oh no! You are not winning this one." I thought.

"If I don't want to talk about it, you just have to accept it." He took couple steps towards me. Now there was no safety gap (as I call it) between us. He could feel my rapid breath on his skin, the same way I could feel his even and slow on mine.

"I'm not going to let go." He whispered into my ear. This time my eyes refused to obey my brain because they somehow caught his intense stare.

"Please." This time I prayed him. He didn't listen either instead he gently touched my chin. And just then I knew I lost this battle. I didn't have to say anything. He noticed how I reacted to his touch. He smiled at me. Gone was that arrogant smirk. His smile was so gentle and warm. Suddenly I found myself in his arms and I let my forehead rest against his chest.

"I like freaking you out." he whispered and his arms tightened around me.

"You're a horrible person." I sighed and Sidney burst into laughter.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Chapter 11. I Think... He Could Fly Me to The Moon

For hours we just sat there, on his couch and talking. He occasionally rubbed my healthy knee which caused electrical shocks all over my body. I don't know why but for some reason I didn't want him to see my reactions or give anything away. I just wanted him to think that I considered him as a friend. And he didn't not have this crazy power over me. To be honest it scared me. I'm a person who needs to be in control. When I was with him I lost the control over myself. I think this thing with him was really a paradox because I he made me want more but at the same time I didn't want to let go.

"When did you start to dance?" he asked.

"Um... I don't know. I've danced as long as I can remember. But I was five when mom took me to ballet lessons and it kinda went from there."

"Do you ever feel like you'd like to do something else?" his voice was intense and I got the feeling he had thought about that question himself.

"Yeah sure. Sometimes. I'd love to teach. But when I think about it really hard I just feel so blessed because I can live my dream. The feeling I get when the song starts and your heartbeat raises because you know people are looking at you, your every move... I think it's much more powerful than any drug."

"Teacher? Really?" he looked surprised.

"Yes. Why are you so surprised?"

"I don't know. You just don't come across like a teacherish."

"Teacherish." I laughed. "What do you think I should do if I wasn't a dancer?"

"Let me think. Modeling." I playfully kicked his stomach.

"Be serious!" I laughed.

"Okay. You could totally do it, though. But a serious job... (he did the quotation marks with his hands) You could be a nurse."

"I hate blood. And pain."

"So not a nurse. What about a hot flight attendant?"

"Thank goodness you weren't my guidance counselor in high school. I just might be a hot modeling flight attendant." I smiled. "What about you? Are you ever tired of being a hockey god?"

His smile slowly faded and his eyes suddenly looked tired. For a moment I thought he had forgotten my existence.
"I sometimes dream about being just a guy from Cole Harbor." He sighed.


"Well, I love hockey, don't get me wrong, but everything that comes with it... it's exhausting."

"But is it worth it?" I asked.

"Not always." I was bit shocked because of his answer.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and squeezed his hand on my knee. He smiled at me.

"But I wouldn't change anything. It's hard, but I guess everything worth having is."


Suddenly he jumped off the couch and pulled me with him. He started pulling me towards the stairs.

"I need to show you something." He whispered when he practically carried me upstairs. I noticed that he was really excited. He took me trough the upstairs' hallway to big class door which apparently led to balcony.

"DO you remember last week when I called you?" He had called me everyday so I was confused what he was talking about.

"You were on the hotel balcony and you said I should see the stars. That night I decided that if you'd ever come to Pittsburgh we should sit on my balcony and just look at the stars."

He opened the door and we stepped out.

"Wow." I sighed when he pointed at the full moon.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Chapter 10. I think...I'll Keep My Eyes Closed

Our plane landed. I tried to stay mad at him but it was pretty hard since he made really cute puppy faces and told ridicilously funny jokes. And before I realized I had broken my ultimatum of not speaking.

"Not fair. You're too good at making me laugh." I sighed.

We got our luggage, well Sidney got our luggage while I tried to walk with the crutches. He piled them on a trolley. I just watched him and I almost had to pinch myself. Sidney Crosby was handling my luggage! Crazy! I still wasn't quite used to this. Cellphone "relationship" was much easier. I wasn't constantly reminded who he was. He was just a great guy who I loved to talk to. But like face-to-face it often felt surreal. He caught me staring and I felt bit embarresed.

"What?" He asked amused.

"Nothing." I lied.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked. I just nodded. We started to walk towards the arrival hall.

"Seriously?" He muttered. Then he quickly stopped.

"Seriously what?" I asked not sure what he was talking about.

Without an answer he stepped behind me and tightly put his arms around my waist. Before I could say or think anything he lifted me up and I found myself sitting on top of our luggage.

"Oh." was all I could say.

"You really are pathetic with the crutches." He laughed.

"I know. Why are we not moving?" I asked sarcasticly.

"Oh, sorry mademoiselle." He started pushing me and our luggage.

His car was parked outside the airport. And it was no Toyota Corolla. He opened the door for me and helped me get in. Meanwhile he was putting the luggage into the trunk I switched the CD-player on and some rock band started playing. Sidney sat on his seat and started the engine.

"What band is this?"

"I have no idea. I guess it's Max's CD. He said I have to listen to this. I guess he likes it."

We drove trough the city listeng this unknown rock band. We couldn't even check the name since the CD cover was nowhere to be found.

"How are you going to return it to Max if you can't even find the cover?"

"I guess I just have to buy a new one."

"How are you going to do that when you don't know the name of the band whose CD you'd like to buy."

"Oh Netsie, have some faith. I just play the first song and they'll find it for me at the store."

"Remind me never to borrow you any of my CDs." I said.


"They are like my babies. Not a single scratch on any of them." I answered proudly.

"Remind me never to borrow any of your CDs" he laughed.

I noticed how we were in the suburb and really nice houses were in perfect lines with their perfect gardens.

"Are we almost there?" I asked excitedly. I was about to se his home. I was curious. Was it a bachelor man cave or something that could only be accomplished by really expensive designer.

"Yep." He parked the car on a drive way. Though it was getting dark I could see that the house was in new paint. And it was pretty big just for one person.

"So you guys live together with the team." I joked and he chucled. The house was stunning from the outside.

"You like it?"

"I love it. It's beautiful." He looked pleased. I wondered wether it was because of the homecoming or because I liked his house. He opened the front door and he gently pushed me in. It was dark so I couldn't see anything.



"Can you put the lights on?"

"I'm trying. Looks like they don't work. I guess the safety fuse has broken. I think there's a flashlight somewhere."

He took my hand and pulled me with him making sure not to hurt my knee.

"Do you have a new one? Or do we have to go and buy a new one?" I asked and squeezed his hand tightly. I must admit that I am afraid of the dark. Always been since a little kid.

"Yeah I have one. Are you okay?"

"Yep. Walking in the dark is not my thing especially with this knee."

"I have an idea. Let's get some canldes and you can sit on the living room coutch and I'll change the fuse." He suggested.

"You have candles?" I asked surprised.


"Wow. Guys don't usually have candles."

"I like candles. Besides my mom always buys them when she's here. So my stock is full." He said and though it was dark I could hear from his voice that he was smiling.

He took me to the livingroom and while I sat down he went to look for the flashlight and the candles. Soon he came back.

"Here. This box is full of candles. You can light them with these matches. I'll go and change the fuse."

I put the candles on the coffee table and lighted them. 20 different sized candles gave so much light that I was able to explore the living room. It was quite empty but the furniture looked expensive. It looked like he was too busy to decorate the room. Like he had just ordered the furniture without thinking small details like artwork, things that turn a house into a home. 1000 ideas ran into my mind. SIdney should get some pictures to hang on his walls.

Apparently Sidney fixed the light problem since all the lights came on. I clapped my hands when he came to the living room.

"Can you cook too?" I laughed.

"Not well."

"Damn. You would be perfect if you could."

Though the lights were now working we decided to switch them off since the candles were so beautiful and created great athmosphere.

"Are you tired?" he asked when he noticed how I tried to hide a yawn.

"A bit but I couldn't sleep if I went to bed now. It's too early."

We both sat on the sofa. We were facing each other because we were both leaning on the armrests. I streched my feet so they were next to him and he did the same thing.

"This is nice. I haven't been this relaxed for a long time." I sighed and closed my eyes.

I felt how he put his hand on my healthy knee and gently rubbed it. I kept my eyes closed so he couldn't see how that little gesture made me feel... I don't even know a word that feeling.

"Are you glad you came with me?" he asked.

I nodded still keeping my eyes closed.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Chapter 9. I Think... I'm A Wiseass

I didn't know what my "okay" really meant before I was sitting on a luxurious business class seat with flight attendants bringing me every existing drink from Martinis to English tea. I took a deep breath and thought about everything that had happened during last four hours. When I had told the girls I would be leaving them for awhile I had actually felt a lump in my throat. They all hugged me and especially Filippa gave me meaningful looks. And I had meaningfully tried to made her stop since Sidney was just couple feet away and most likely had seen her winks and other ridiculous gestures. Oh Fippa. I was going to miss that little nut case. After a goodbye we drove to the airport and from the airline counter he bought an extra ticket for me telling me to shut up when I almost whined about the price.

So now I was sitting in a very very very fine plane seat with two designer blankets around me. The other one was Sidney's, which he had offered me since one couldn't do the trick of warming me up. I'm always cold. One more ridiculous feature about me since I come from a country where winter lasts 20 months per every year, as I put it when someone (stupid) says that she loves Finnish winter. Ḯ'm a summer person. Unfortunately.

"Maybe you should order something hot to drink." Sidney suggested. I was holding a class of coke with ice on my hands.

"It's alright now. I'm getting warmer. Besides I need my daily coke."

"How's your leg?"

"I think I still have it with me." I smiled. He chuckled. He seemed to be in very good mood.

"I have a game tomorrow but my whole morning is free. I canceled all interviews before the game so..."

"Oh no! You shouldn't have!" I panic-ed.

"Oh come on Nets. Of course I did. If I have a close friend or a family member visiting I always do that."

"Yeah but I could've survived without a babysitter for couple hours." I insisted.

"Well... I wanted to babysit you and I don't do it for the money. I actually like kids."

"Haha! That's very funny." I snorted.

"I am a very funny guy." He said with a straight face. He was, but there was no way I was going to admit that now.

"But as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, tomorrow morning we could do something fun together."

"Fun is a limited word right now for me."

"I know. Fun means some activity without any use of female left leg."

"I know! We can hop on one leg! What a great idea."

"Wiseass." He laughed.

"I am extremely wise and, as I've heard, I have a pretty great ass too." I shouldn't have joked like that because what Sidney was about to say next got me cheeks turn into a very dark shade of red.

"I'm not sure about the wise part but yes, your ass is pretty fine." He laughed at my respond. And for a second I thought he was Filippa trapped in a man's body (very fine body) since that teasing look he gave me was quite familiar.

"Oh Netta. What's wrong? You look... I don't know... blushed."
I rolled my eyes. It didn't seem to work the way I wanted because he just continued on this butt matter.

"I did notice it in Central Park. That thief, you remember? I had a perfect view when I was following you with Jordan." His smirked.

"Shut up!" I hissed. That's when I notice how people around us were now quite aware of us. Well mainly about the Golden boy, as I teased him on the phone sometimes.

"People are looking at us." I whispered trying to make him stop.

"They are?" He looked around and nodded to people who, in my opinion, could've just minded their own business.

"But seriously it's just one great feature. But trust me babe, it's a great feature." he whispered to ear.

Damn Sidney! I blushed again and he was enjoying himself.

"If you don't stop that right now, I'm never going to speak to you again."

He just smirked. Annoying gorgeous a**hole.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Chapter 8. I Think...I Like Being A Patient

The doctor had told me not to put weigh on my injured leg. And to make my getting-out-of-the-hospital gloriously embarrassing I got crutches.

"You're pathetic with them." Filippa sighed. I wasn't used to walk with crutches so it take a while to get my legs move without falling.

"Come on Nets. I'd like to get to our hotel before the sun comes down." Victoria teased. I just rolled my eyes. Maybe they'd stop if I would just ignore them. Not a chance. They kept teasing me and my lack of body coordination. According to them it was unbelievable that it was my profession to move my body but crutches seemed to be a bit too much a challenge for me. I was all alone against this vicious punch of girls. Sidney had gone to get a taxi for us. For my relief it didn't take long for him to drive to us in one. He stepped out and waved to us. Apparently he his thoughts were similar to girls'. He smiled at me before running to me.

"I think you need some help." He laughed and lifted me up in his arms. I unconsciously put my arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks Sidney. She was slower than a snail." Filippa said dramatically.

Taxi ride to our hotel took too little time. I was sitting between Sidney and Victoria. I could feel Sidney's warmth next to me. And when he was talking he sometimes accidentally touched my leg. And when he gave me a quick glance, I felt that somehow the whole world started to disappear around us, especially Filippa's non-stopping mouth. But as I said, the driver was too good. He chose a quick shortcut and we had to get out of the taxi way too soon. This time he didn't pick me up in his arms, instead he put his arm around my waist and started to support my every step. It felt almost too good to have his arm around me. I caught myself thinking what it would feel like to have his both arms around me.

"Can you take her to our room? I think I saw a drugstore couple blogs away, so I'll go and buy her something to shut her up if the leg starts to hurt again."

"Sure Fippa." Sidney nodded.

My heart started to beat faster. I hoped he didn't notice. Alone with him. I wasn't sure if it was the best thing right now. Especially since I wasn't high anymore. Then again maybe I wouldn't call him Harry Potter again.

Elevator took us to my floor. Victoria went to her own room and left us alone. I refused to think she winked to me before leaving. I gave my room key to Sidney and he opened the door. Thank goodness Filippa had cleaned up. I sat down on my bed. Sidney put my bag down. He looked at me for awhile.

"I have an idea." he came to sit next to me.


"Have you ever been in Pittsburgh?"


"Would you like to come there?"

Okay, call me stupid but it didn't come to my mind that he was "maybe" asking me to come to Pittsburgh.

"It hasn't been on my list of "where I need to travel before dying", but I'm sure it's a great place."

He started laughing.

"You're a bit silly."

He confused me.

"Um... wha..."

"I'm asking you to come to Pittsburgh as my guest." His smile was full of excitement.

"Huh?" My brain was going blank.

"Would you, Netta, I don't know your middle name, Taipale come to Pittsburgh with me?"

"It's Anneli." Was all I could say. Now it was his turn to be confused.

"My middle name is Anneli."

"Okay. Netta Anneli Taipale. What do you say?" He took my hand and his eyes were saying PLEASE.

"I'm on a tour." I said.

"With crutches?"

"I can't dance." I sighed more to myself than to him.

"Exactly. You can't dance with that leg. And if you stay with the girls you constantly think about dancing and how it sucks not to do it. Trust me I know how it feels to be injured. If you come with me, you'll get the needed distraction and I'll... well you would have fun."

"Are you seriously asking me to come?" Sidney's idea hadn't completely sunk in yet.

"Oh yeah."

"You hardly know me," I said in disbelief.

"I've spent hours and hours on the phone with you. I know you enough to know that I'd like you to come. Please say yes."

Every single excuse came to my mind, but still:


Friday, August 13, 2010

Chapter 7. I Think... I'm Under Your Spell

Finally a new chapter. Thanks again for reading! And keep reading, for I have "great ideas" for Netta & Sid :D

I wasn't lucky. My cell started ringing and it was my sister-in-law. She was angry. Well, angry was an understatement. She was furious. She lectured at me about my stupidity and lack of common sense.
"What kind of idiot would let it go that far that that idiot would pass out on a stage?" and other questions like that. Kayley is my personal common sense when it comes injuries and health. According to her I have no idea what is safe and healthy, so she likes to remind me... a lot.
I listened quietly, because I've learned my lesson. Disturbing was something one should never do when Kayley started her healthy body-healthy life lecture. Sidney was still sitting next to my bed. He was smirking. I rolled my eyes.

Kayley finally stopped.

"Did you tell mom and dad?" I asked her already knowing her answer.

"I called them the second I got off the phone with Filippa. Your mom actually said she wasn't surprised. Are you coming home?"

"Kay I really haven't had time to think about it. But most likely yeah." I mumbled. This was not my favorite topic. Flying across the Atlantic wasn't an appealing idea. I would be really far away from Sidney. At least here we were on the same continent.

"Well, give me or your brother a call, and we'll pick you at the airport."

"Thanks Kay. I'll do that." I sighed.

"Bye Nets. Take it easy, Ok?"

"I promise. Bye."

Back home. I missed my family but still even thinking about leaving made me sad. I got lost in my own thought so I didn't hear what Sidney said to me. He gently touched my hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded, because I couldn't lie. Not to him.

With his fingertips he touched my cheek. Something so small had an enormous effect on me. It felt like electrical shocks were running through my body. His eyes looked deep into mine. I think he noticed me reaction to his touch because he smiled.

"This is not fair." I whispered. I couldn't take me eyes off him.

"What's not fair?" He asked softly.

"What you do to me."

"What do I do to you?"

"I don't know. You have this weird power over me. You turn me into a nut case."

He smiled at me warmly. Oh boy.

"And when you do that... that smile-thing, I think I become a total lunatic. I think you're some kind of a wizard or Harry Potter-like creature. It's not normal. You are not normal."

He bursted into laughter.

"Thanks, I guess." He said.

This was so weird. I just called Sidney Crosby a Harry Potter-like creature.

"You know what," he said.


"I don't think you're normal either."

"Well, that's nothing new." I giggled.

"You're the most interesting person I've ever met. You're beautiful, funny, caring... you're pretty much unreal."

Wow. That blew me away. He was telling me something so beautiful.

"Thanks, I guess." I said shyly. He squeezed my hand.

He started saying something else, but Filippa came in to my room just then. If she realized that she had interrupted something she surely didn't show it.

"Good news guys! The doctors think you're ready to get out of that bed and leave them alone. They said your such an annoying patient that it's better if you leave."

"I can leave? Seriously?"

"Yep. The one with mustache will be here in a sec with your papers." Filippa said enthusiastically.

She started packing my things into my back. We called her "Red Bull" for a good reason. Sidney was still staring at me. I gave him a quick smile. My doctor "the one with the mustache" came in. He gave me a pile of paper, his number just in case and description for strong painkillers.

"Try Aspirin, but if it doesn't work take one of these."

"Thank you doctor."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Once again only a short one. sorry... i got married last Saturday and I've been extremely busy and though there have been million ideas I just haven't found the time to write anything. But after our honeymoon, I'll promise to write new chapters.

And thank you so much for the feedback! It means alot!

Friday, June 4, 2010

hi everyone!

I'm so excited that you guys actually read my story/stories! It's pretty awesome. I'd like to hear your thoughts and ideas about anything. Especially I'd like to know how you picture the characters to look like...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Chapter 6. I Think... I'm High

This time I didn't need strong soap or Fippa's nail polish remover. Instead I saved his number in my phone. Who would have thought that I had Sidney Crosby's number.

I took me two weeks and 3 cities to gain enough courage to do anything. But one night, before our second show in Montreal, I texted him:

Good luck. Hope you'll score alteast 1

I changed into my first costume and while I was adding more black eyeshadow my cell beeped. One message received.

Now I will. I'll call u later.

He'll call me.

Yes, he did score and he assisted twice. And yes, he did call me. And after that he called me every night. We talked about everything and I realized that he got to know me pretty well. Just by listening to my voice he knew if something was bothering me. One night he asked me: "What's wrong?"

"I don't. I just think that there might be something wrong with my knee. It was quite painful to dance." I sighed.

"maybe you should let a doctor check it." he said,

"I hate doctors." I sighed.

"I bet Kayley would love to hear that." Sidney laughed.

Kayley was my Aussie sister-in-law. I had told Sidney about her and how they met with my brother.

"Well she's an exception." I laughed.

Kayley is a doctor specialized in sports injuries. Since she married my brother, Niklas, 5 years ago she's worked in a private clinic in Helsinki.

"But Netsie for real, you should see a doctor. I hate to know you're in pain."

I should have listened to him. it happened suddenly, without any warning. The pain was so overwhelming that I almost fainted. Somehow I managed to get off the stage and when I knew that the audience couldn't see me anymore I collapsed on the floor. It felt like my whole leg was on fire.

"Oh shit." I gasped.

This wasn't good. I couldn't stand up and even moving the leg hurt.

"What happened?" Our stage manager came to me.

She looked worried. And she had a good reason. I was pale as a ghost and the pain almost made me pass out.

"I don't know. Something's wrong with me knee. I can't move it." I whispered.

"I'll get you some ice. Should I call an ambul...."

That's all I heard. I passed out.

I woke up in a moving vehicle which turned out to be an ambulance. Oona, one of the Finnish dancers, was with me.

"Kauanka ma oon ollu taju kankaalla?" (How long I've been passed out?)

"15 minuuttia." (15 minutes :) ) she answered-

We were both still in our ballet dresses.

"Ne anto sulle jotain kipulääkettä." (They gave you something for the pain."

I was glad. I didn't feel any pain. But I was extremely sleepy. It was har to keep my eyes open.

"On muuten tehokas lääke." (This drug is pretty effective.)

Oona giggled because I sounded like I was drunk.

"Näyttää ja kuulostaa siltä." (Looks and sounds like it.)

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I spent the night in the hospital. When I woke up Fippa sat next to me on the edge of me bed. The room was full of flowers.

"Good morning you drama queen." she said when I opened my eyes.

"Morning. What time is it?"

"9.15. Girls were here but you were asleep. They brought flowers. Vicky bought white lilies though I said that they're funeral flowers. And since your breathing you're not dead."

"They're really pretty. Say thank you to the girls. How did you survive the rest of the show?"

"Vicky danced your solo. We did just fine."

"Good." I sighed in relief.

"And you're not that important." She teased me.

"Ha ha!"

"By the way, mr. Crosby called last night and I told him what happened. He was pretty upset."

"He was?"

"Oh yeah. But I told him that it's not that serious. You just can't stand pain-"

It was true. I pass out easily when I'm in pain. Once I fainted when a bee stang me. I overact but I can't help it. My body just refuses to function in pain.

"Do you know what the doctors said?" I asked because hadn't seen anyone in a white coat.

"They said it's ACL injury. Sucks to be you."

ACL injury was pretty bad and it sure did feel that way too. Thank goodness I was okay now lying on the hospital bed and heavily medicated.

"Did I already tell you that he's coming?" Filippa asked and waited for my reaction.

I almost jumped off the bed.

"What did you say?"

She smiled innocently.

"Last night when I called him, he said he was coming here to kick your ass for not taking his advice about seeing a doctor."

I rolled my eyes. " I thought you were serious."

"I am. He said he's going to fly here. I think his plane landed about 15 minutes ago."

What?! Sidney was here in Montreal! And just because of my stupid knee.

"You're not seriously telling me that he spends his precious day off by sitting on a plane to come to see me lying on a hospital bed You're just teasing, right?"

"He is coming. I'm not kidding." I wished I could rip that annoying smile off her face.

"Fippa, did you tell him to come?"



"I might have said something..."

"Fippa!" I screamed.

"But it was his idea entirely. I just said that you'd like him to be here. Oh, don't give me that look. I've seen you when you're on the phone with him. You're like in seventh heaven."

"Shut up. He's coming only because he felt obligated. Thanks to you and your big mouth. This is his day off. He could have done something fun and relaxing."

Now it was Filippa's turn to roll eyes.

"You know what, he's coming and there's nothing I could've done to stop him. He really wanted to come."

"Yeah right." i mumbled.

"Trust me hon. He's really smitten over you."

i bursted into laughter.

"Who talks like that anymore?"

"I do." She said and stack her tongue out.

I hear his voice before I saw him. He was talking with Filippa right outside my room and the door was open.

"So how's the patient?" he asked.

"Stubborn, high on drugs and such a baby." Filippa whispered extremely loud so I could hear.

Sidney chuckled. I tried to calm myself down. Talking on the phone wiht him wasn't so bad anymore, but seeing him made my heart beat like it was playing a techno song. He stood in the doorway and smiled. Have I mentioned that that boy can smile?

"Hi." was all he said.

"Hi." I answered. I must have looked like a mess in a hospital gown and my hair looking like hobbit hair.

He stepped in and came next to my bed. It was so weird to see him. We've talked on the phone for hours but seeing him was quite strange. There was a chair in the corner and he pulled it next to my bed and sat down.

"Are you still in pain?" he asked. I could see concern in his eyes. I shoke my head.

"They've given me so much painkillers that it's hard to even know that I have a knee. I think they amputated everything from hips to toes." I giggled. The last shot of medicine, the nurse gave me about half an hour age, made my really giggly.

"You really are high." He laughed.

That made me giggle some more. I was high on the painkillers and him being here.

"Fippa told me it's ACL injury."

"Yep. The doctor said it might need surgery. And that means my season's over." I sighed. The thought of not dancing for months made me sad and frustrated.

He squeezed my hand. It felt so comforting. His skin was warm and soft.

"I think I know haw you feel. I got injured last year. It's so frustrating." he said. He kept my hand in his.

I started to giggle again.

"You could be playing golf but instead your at the hospital."

"I don't like golf in November." He smiled.

I like you in November. Of course I didn't say that out loud. I wasn't that high.

"Well you could be fixing your Toyota Corola." I joked.

"My 'Toyota Corola' is just fine."

He was still holding my hand. I think I could get used to this, having him near me holding my hand and looking at me like that.

"I hit a tree with a Toyota Corola once." I said.

"You did?"

"Yeah but my grandma must have moved the tree, because, I swear, it wasn't there earlier."

he laughed. I was glad I made him laugh. It felt nice.

"You do know you're pretty cute, right."

That caught me off guard. He just called me cute. Maybe there was something wrong with my ears.

"I get that a lot when I'm wearing as cool as this hospital gown."

"I'm not surprised." He laughed.

In that moment I realized what a lucky girl I was.