Monday, December 6, 2010

Chapter 17. I Think...I Already Miss Him

Those three days I spent in Pittsburgh were gone too fast. He had to go on the road and it was time for me to fly to Edmonton where the girls were performing tonight. We were at the airport and he was holding my tightly against him.

"The second you land call me." He said and I nodded.

"I will." I whispered.

We were just staring at each others' eyes and we both understood how our lives at that moment seemed too crazy. If we would have just been two ordinary people, I wouldn't have to get on that plane and he wouldn't have to leave with his team. We could just stay here and be together. Instead we had to be apart. We hadn't talked about this part of our relationship. I guess we didn't even want to talk about it. It was too depressing, after all this "thing" was so fresh and new. I guess we were afraid of the separation. At least I was. I didn't want this . It was awful. But something that I couldn't change.

"I don't want you to go." He said and hugged me almost too hard.

"I don't want to go." I answered and my voice was too shaky for me to control.

Sidney smiled at me. He seemed to find this somehow amusing.

"Just think how you, couple days ago, wanted to leave." He teased me.

"Keep teasing me and I really want to leave." I laughed. Time was moving too fast because I really had to go trough the security check. We kissed goodbye, and I thought how it was only our 5th kiss so far. I really would have wanted more.

As I was walking away I heard him saying:

"I was right about that ass of yours."

I didn't turn back. Just smiled and pretended to be angry. So I lifted my other hand and showed him the rude finger.

"F you Crosby!" As I had said that I heard him chuckle.


On the flight I had time to really think about us. It was still funny to say "us". We weren't just him and me, we were us. What was "us" going to do to somehow handle this long distance relationship. I really wanted that this would develop into something. Something meaningful and lasting. Oh boy, how I already started to miss him. I had only bad experience on long distance relationships. As case Daniel had taught me it was impossible to know what the other one was doing. He might start to feel completely different. Or, in worst case scenario, he might find someone else. That thought gave me shivers. What if he would found someone else? He was not a cheater but what if his feelings for me would slowly fade away and after some time he would find someone who could easily fill my place. Oh crap! I hated this. I hated feeling so insecure. I knew his feelings were genuine and I was sure he was being honest in every way. But time was a bitch. And distance relationship was even a bitchier bitch. Everything could change. I knew it too well. Funny how a guy like Daniel could still affect on my love life though he was no part of it. One thing that was sure was that I was not going to do the same mistake I did with him. I would know if something was wrong. You know there's no fire without smoke. And with Daniel I didn't see the smoke, or to be quite honest, I didn't want to see it though it was suffocating me. This time I would fight for this, not let it fade away. And the first thing I did when we landed was I called him and told him that.

I got a cap and drove to the hotel were rest of the girls were staying. Well by no they would have already left for the tonight's show. I took me suitcase to the room which was already full of Filippa's stuff. The room really didn't look like a hotel room, it was a place which looked like it had been hit by a tornado. I tried to clean it up a bit but I knew better not to go too far since though it looked like a total chaos there actually was some kind of order, and if I would mess that up, Filippa would be pissed. I watched TV because I didn't want to go to watch the show. I tried to stay awake so when the girls would get back I would be prepared. But of course lying there on my bed, I became so sleepy that my eyes just refused to stay open anymore. Couple hours later I woke up when someone jumped on my bed.

"Tell me everything!" Filippa screamed and suddenly the room was filled with girls in very strong make up. Apparently they were in such a hurry that they didn't even have time to wash their faces after the show.

"Wow guys! Just calm down." I laughed.

"We are not going to calm down before you tell us everything! The second the curtains were closed we ran like crazy people to get taxis so we could finally see you!" Oona explained. She was still in her costume.

"Ooh you guys. It's nice to see you too." I smiled. They all looked irritated.

"Shut up already and tell us about you and the future hubby of yours." Victoria said.

"Okay. Um... We are together." I said.

"And..."

"Nothing else. We are together and that's it." They all looked quite disappointed since there was no juicy story.

"I bet you freaked out." Oona said. I was glad Filippa and Victoria got my back because they changed the subject.

"I bet he is a good kisser." Filippa smiled. I blushed.

"That good?" Victoria laughed. And after that they never stopped teasing me about my good kisser boyfriend.

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